Battle Scars - Lams

14; Am I just a mistake?

Hamilton was ignoring John, and John felt like the scum of the earth. For no reason, lets say, because he had no idea why Hamilton was ignoring him. But he felt as if he had done something wrong.

So he laid in his bed and 1 am, his roommate next to him, and sighed softly.

"Am I a good person?"

"No, because you woke me up."

"Be serious."

Johns voice sounded broken, distraught, and Seabury felt so taken back, because he had never heard his friend so sad.

"Yes, John, you are. You are an amazing person and friend. Stop doubting yourself so much. It hurts to know that you can't see what I see."

"What do you see?"

Seabury laughed and shook his head, "an amazing friend, to my surprise."

"You're not just... saying that, are you?"

"No, Laurens, I am not. You are an amazing friend and I feel so stupid that a drunk kiss made me realise it."

"You remember the kiss?"

"Of course, but only because it's probably the thing I most regret, because I know that's what made Hamilton mad, and that caused you to be upset. I guess you could say it's partially my fault that Hamilton was mad at you."

"No," Laurens shook his head, "no, it's not your fault, it isn't. It's all over. But Hamilton's ignoring me again and I don't know what I did."

"Who knows, maybe you drunk his water." Seabury gasped dramatically, causing Laurens to laugh softly.

"Shut up and be serious for a second."

"How can I when I'm lying next to the biggest dork at one am."

The both of them started laughing. To be honest, Seabury hadn't felt this welcome in his life.

Most of the time people pushed him away because he was hard to talk to. He never really had any friends. This was nice. He liked this, and didn't want it to end.

"You know," Seabury sighed, "this should be a thing we do. Just stay up at one am and do anything. I think our friendship could grow."

"I think it already has. Think, at the start or the year, we hated each other. Look at us now."

"Yeah."

"Seabury, I don't regret that kiss, because look at all the good it brought. I mean, yeah, Hamilton got all pissy, but he got over it. This is good. It's nice."

Seabury nodded his head, "Yeah, you're right."

"Hey, I have a question."

"Mhm?"

Seabury tilted his head slightly.

"You and Charles Lee, hm?"

"Fuck you!"

Laurens laughed as Seabury attempted to hit him. It failed, because he was lying down and his arms hurt like fuck.

"But, you like him, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, he probably thinks I'm annoying as well. Everyone does. I hope he doesn't though, he's really charming."

"Ooo, Sammy's in love~"

"Piss off."

Seabury was grinning though. He could live with this. Staying up at one am with his friend, sharing his feelings and insecurities.

"So, Laurens, have you called your dad?"

Laurens shook his head, "No, I haven't had time, with classes and studying and all."

"Yeah, just try and call him, okay? I don't want to see you suffer."

Laurens smiled softly, "I can't believe you're the same person I met forever ago."

"I know, I was shitty."

"Let's be honest, I wasn't helping. I would always debate with you about nothing. It was useless."

"Oh yeah, about debating, you really shouldn't be a debater. You don't have good arguments."

They both laughed again.

The whole night seemed to just be laughing. It was calming. John forgot about everything, and Seabury finally felt at peace with himself.

Because, even though no one knew it, Samuel Seabury was one of the most insecure people in the world. Always looking in the mirror and hating what he saw.

That's probably why he started being rude. To his his self pity? Probably.

But there, at one am, in the dark, next to his roommate, he finally felt peace. He felt like he was acceptable, like he wasn't that disgusting guy he saw in the mirror.

He felt human

* * *

This one was super fun to write

Sorry I haven't updated,, I HAVE SOME REASONS
1) art
2) SICKLK
3) trying to write other stories ???

But anyways I wanted to focus on their relationship? And I thought this was really sweet.

No, it's not romantic, it's platonic. Just bros being bros.

Anyways, I hope you liked it as much as I did.

ILY XOXO