When Women Were Warriors Book I: The Warrior's Path

Jealousy

During the night the storm turned into a blizzard that lasted for a week. There was little else for the people of Merin’s house to do but huddle around the hearth in the great hall. The only thing that relieved our boredom was an occasional spat caused by our being so weary of one another’s company.

Maara didn’t like sitting in the crowded hall, but her room was too cold for anything but sleeping. The wind drove the snow in through the cracks in the shutter, and when we awoke in the mornings, our hair was stiff with frost. She would find us an inconspicuous place at the back of the hall, where we could have some peace and quiet.

It was impossible to avoid Vintel, although she hardly seemed to notice us. She treated us as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened between us. She was no more friendly with us than she had ever been, but she sometimes spoke to my warrior or to me in passing. I found it difficult to understand.

One thing had changed, and it was something that pleased me very much. The warriors who had once avoided Maara now began to seek her out. One or another of them would leave a warm place beside the hearth and join us. Some would stay only for a moment, just long enough to let her know that they accepted her as one of them. A few would sit with us through the long afternoons and talk with her as if they had known her all their lives. I imagine that it was most often curiosity that drew them to her. She was never talkative enough to satisfy them, but I hoped they would see that she was more like them than she was different.

§ § §

On the fourth night of the blizzard, I awoke shivering in the middle of the night. I was sleeping in my clothes with the covers over my head, but it did no good. I couldn’t get warm. At last I got up, still wrapped in my blankets, thinking I might go downstairs and sleep by the warm ashes of the hearth. On the way I changed my mind and stopped by the companions’ loft. I felt my way over to where Sparrow slept, but her place was empty.

Someone whispered my name. I turned to see Taia open her blankets for me. I added my blankets to hers and lay down beside her. Soon I was warm enough to sleep.

In the early morning, as I was returning to Maara’s room, I saw someone at the far end of the upstairs hall. I wondered who else could be up so early. On such a cold morning, no one would be in any hurry to get out of a warm bed. I was curious enough to linger in the hallway until I could see who it was.

In the dim light I couldn’t see her face. I recognized Sparrow by the way she moved. I thought she might have been looking for me, so I waited for her. I expected her to stop and speak with me, but she brushed past me without a word. I caught only a brief glimpse of her face. She looked as if she had just played a clever trick on someone and was making her escape before her prank could be discovered. When I turned to speak to her, she put her finger to her lips and beckoned to me to follow her.

We went down to the kitchen. A few of the servants were already up, and the fires had been lit. Sparrow and I sat down in the warmest corner we could find. She was fully dressed, as I was, but it was still cold enough that we were glad to pull my blankets around our shoulders.

“Where were you last night?” I asked her. “I looked for you in the companions’ loft, but you weren’t there.”

“When was that?”

“I woke up freezing in the middle of the night. I went to see if you’d share blankets with me.”

“I’m sorry I missed you.” She sounded sorry.

Then she said, “I was with Vintel.”

I could hardly believe my ears. “Has Vintel accepted you?”