Just Selfish (One-Sided ImmortalFox) ???

Word Count- 1339

Rated: Pg-13

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Suicide Mentions  and abuse

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Aleks pov

Eddie is my everything, my heart , my breath, my every thought, and he treats me like I'm a joke.

I sat in the corner of Eddie's apartment's living room, staring at Eddie and his new girlfriend, Melisa, cuddling on the couch, telling each other sweet words and kissing every so often. I just watched, knowing when Melisa was over, I didn't exist. I was a nobody, a third wheel. Eddie never even payed the slightest bit of attention to me. Melisa was all that mattered to him. Melisa would notice me though, she would always give me a glance, or a small smile that Eddie played off as it being towards him. She knew she was slowly killing me. I had moved out of the apartment a few months ago, to live with James. Melisa took my room. I stopped coming over for dinner, she took my place. 

Eddie didn't notice, he passed it off as me finally getting my own place. I was a nuisance to him now, he only ever spoke to me to record or during a Creature Talk. I never ate unless James or Kevin force fed me. I would sleep, but I would take a sleeping pill for it, sometimes, I'd try to over dose. I wanted to fall asleep into a comma or never wake up. Kootra or James figured this out after my first attempt and started monitoring my dosages. Eddie didn't seem to care, he never said anything of the subject. To my knowledge, as long as I didn't try any of that under his roof, he wanted me gone. 

That's how he makes it seem anyways. When we are alone and I bring up the subject of Melisa taking my spot, he gets really defensive, he starts yelling at me and sometimes, he'll hit me. He knows I love him, he rejects it though. He tells me to get over it and that he would never love me back or in the same way, that it's wrong, that I was just being a selfish brat and that it would never happen, not in this life time or any other one.  He would kick me out of the house and wouldn't talk to me for weeks, sometimes for longer. I would go back to James's place and lock myself in my room. I would contemplate ending my life, but could never go through with the plans. Instead, I would cut myself in every non visible place I could. My back, my  thighs, my stomach, my chest, my shoulders. I wouldn't make them deep though, in fear of scarring myself. Not that it would matter anyways. The only one who's opinion and thoughts truly mattered hated me.

I was taken from my thoughts as I heard Melisa say my name to Eddie, "Don't you think you should talk  to Aleks?" she asked him softly

Eddie just blinked, "Who?" he asked, looking at her with confusion. I felt a million spikes go through me, I was a nobody to him.

Melisa pointed at me, "Aleks? You're friend?" she said, making her voice sound like she was pointing out the obvious. 

Eddie looked at me, "Oh yeah. Aleks? Why are you still here? I thought you would have gone home now.." he said, smiling as if everything was alright. Even though he knew damn well nothing was alright. 

I forced myself to stand, "Sorry.." I said, forcing a fake smile and heading out. I could hear Eddie start telling Melisa more words, as if I never was there, he didn't even say good bye. I looked down at the stairs as I walked, texting James to come and get me. 

After I texted him, I sat out on the front steps to wait, pulling my legs to my chest. I hoped James would get here before Eddie and Melisa stopped cuddling. I would hate to get yelled at by Eddie for still being here.

30 minuets later

I sighed, James was taking a while to get here, ten minuets ago he had finally texted me back, telling me he would be here shortly. I started listening to some music, not hearing the door behind me open. I tensed slightly when I felt someone sitting next to me, knowing it was probably Eddie to come yell at me for still hanging around. But, the words never came, there was just silence for a long time. I heard the sound of James's car pulling up and slowly stood, still not looking at Eddie or even in his direction. I felt him grab my wrist, stopping me from leaving just yet, "You wanna hang out tomorrow?" he asked, his voice sounding dull. I felt tears sting my eyes as I shook my head in response and pulled my arm away from his grip. He didn't say anything else about the matter and just let me leave.

I hurried to James's car and got in on the passenger side, wiping the threatening tears from my eyes. The fact that he had the audacity to ask that after everything stung more than anything I could ever manage to do to myself.

James asked me a question, but I didn't hear it over my own thoughts. He asked again but I still didn't hear it. He frowned and got out of the car, walking over to Eddie. I watched them start arguing, James's voice barely audible through the glass. I shrunk down into the seat, not wanting to be seen by either of the two. I put my earbuds back in, listening to the music as I curled up. It was a about half an hour before James returned and drove me home, cursing Eddie the entire way. He told me that everything Eddie's told me is wrong, that Eddie's just some asshole who doesn't deserve me. I knew James meant well, but he wasn't helping like he hoped he was. When we got home, he led me inside, helping me to my room where I lied down. He left me alone, telling me that he would call me down for dinner. I simply nodded, curling up and sighing. Maybe James was right, maybe Eddie wasn't deserving of me. I closed my eyes, thinking of everything I had done because of my love for Eddie. Every cut, every day I went without food, just because of the abuse I would take to just see him again. Kevin came into the room without knocking, knowing by now, knocking gave me too much time to hide whatever I was doing. I opened one eye, frowning as he sat next to me on the bed. He rubbed my back gently, asking me how I was holding up. I told him the truth, like always, telling him what was going through my head as I sat up. He just listened, wrapping an arm around me. He was a good listener and he was really good at calming me down, rubbing my back and saying simple words and sentences to tell me he cared and understood. I tucked my face under his chin, sniffling and murmuring how much I appreciated his company.

Kevin nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead as his hand that was rubbing my back stopped. He wrapped his other arm around me, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over me before pulling me closer. He sung gently, laughing as I giggled at the song, it being 'Hush Little Baby' except he replaced 'Baby' with 'Awek'. I closed my eyes, smiling as he continued to sing, rocking us both. We stayed like that for a long time as he just rocked me, his singing turning into hums as I dozed off, a smile on my face. Maybe I really didn't need Eddie after all.

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This has been sitting in my works for too long

I'm really glad I finished it however.

I hope you all liked it <3