Noah. (#2)

(1)

Okay, Alexa, you can do this, it's easy, and it is practically nothing. You'll just have to pee. That's it, why so nervous?

That's what my conscious has been telling me for the past half an hour I have been sitting locked up in the bathroom. It has been 2 weeks, since we came back home from that reunion with Z, and I have been really nauseated and always dizzy and craving a hell lot of French fries dipped in vanilla ice cream. When I talked to mom about this she told me that it might be a stomach bug. I really think not, but my guess that this is pregnancy. Not that I hate children or anything, just because Noah and I might not be ready for this. He is still 24 years old, for God's sake! Yes, he did once tell me he wanted a whole football team, but that's not the point.

"Okay, Alexa, you're totally capable of this, you fought enemies before, and you can't simply take a test? That's ridiculous!" I mumble before sighing and opening the package, taking out the test. I read the instructions, biting my lip. As I follow the instructions and all, I start to think about how in the world did Noah forget to use protection? I told him that thoroughly over and over but he actually forgot.

Damn you, Noah.

I put the test by the sink before sitting on the closed toilet lid. I put my head into my hands and sigh as I feel myself breaking a bit.

What if I am pregnant and the kid had my cancer genes?

That would just break me.

After 5 minutes of negative thinking I take a deep breath in and let it out before getting up and heading to the sink. I close my eyes and try to stop my hands from shaking as I reach out for the test. The test shakes in my hand so hard I couldn't even read the answer. I gulp and look at it as tears form into my eyes and a sob wrenches out of me.

Two red lines lie on top of the small screen.

Meaning that I am pregnant.

I put the test in the sink before slowly sinking to my knees. Why, God? Why give me a child that could have cancerous cells? Why get him into this bad, bad world? No one deserves this.

As I start to wheeze on the floor, I decide to get myself together. I put my hand on the sink and lift myself up to stare into my tear stained face. I wash my face with some cold water before gulping and heading to the locked door. I open the door and get out seeing my phone ringing on the bed. I look at it to see it is Noah before answering it.

"Hey babe!" he says in his enthusiastic voice. I smile lightly as my eyes fill with tears.

"Hey." I say, my voice betraying me at the end.

"Are you okay?" he says, his voice dripping with worry.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just need some water, I hadn't been drinking water for a long time, from yesterday's lunchtime, I guess." I say.

"Go and drink a bottle now, I am not kidding." He says sternly. I chuckle a bit, imagining him with a serious face.

"I will, don't worry." I say. "What are your plans today?" I ask.

"I have a case that I'll work on till 8 or something and then I am free, what about you?" he asks as I hear shuffling beside him.

"Oh, I'll probably go visit mom." I say. He hums in agreement.

"Perfect, we'll have dinner together today, right?" he says, I smile.

"Yup, I'm making Spaghetti Bolognese." I say, biting my lip.

"Yum, can't wait!" he whispers like a young kid talking about his Christmas present. "See you later, sweetie, I have to go, bye!" he adds.

"Bye!" I say before hanging up. I sigh deeply as I look at the clock, seeing it's still 2 PM. Maybe visiting mom for a few hours would do me good in my depressed yet grateful state. I get up and throw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt with some Nike running shoes before taking my phone, wallet, keys and grab the pregnancy test while heading out. I get in my car and drive through the streets. 15 minutes later I was at mom's place with two Iced Caramel Macchiato cups from Starbucks; my guess is that she is still asleep. I park the car and head to the door, ringing the bell impatiently. I start to feel a lump in my throat as tears rise up again. I hear a groan from out of the door as mom rushes to it. She opens it with a disheveled hair and disoriented attire as she looks at me sleepily. Ever seen a grandmother so 'living while she is young'? I haven't. She shoots me a grateful look as she takes a Starbucks cup from my hand and takes a sip, immediately her mood changes and brightens.

"Hello, darling!" she says as she envelops me in a hug. I smile at her slightly before I pull away and my lip and chin start quivering. Her smile falls and a worried expression reaches over her face. "What's wrong?" she asks as she pulls me inside and closes the door with her heel. Tears start to fall freely from my eyes as I start to sob loudly. "Alexa, calm down, please darling, I beg of you. It's not good to cry so much. Come on, let's go sit and relax, yeah?" she says, raising an eyebrow at the suggestion in the end. She takes my Iced Macchiato from me and puts it on a nearby table. I start sobbing even more as my knees start to shake and fail from underneath me. Mom holds me up slightly before lowering me to the ground on my knees. She gets on her knees beside me and searches my face. "What's wrong?" she asks as she holds my face in her hands, wiping the tears with her thumbs. I don't say anything; I just reach for the test in my pocket and garb it, handing it to her. Her eyes widen as she takes it and looks at it before looking at me with still wide eyes. I sob even more as my whole body starts shaking.

"I'm pregnant."