Unexpected Summoning

Never Again

Dipper enjoyed being summoned as much as any other demon. It was simple; let the summoner propose their deal, trick the summoner into thinking they had gotten an absolutely wonderful deal (almost free of charge!), reveal the error in their so called amazing deal, eat their soul.

Or at least, that had been what every summoning had been like for the past...er, a thousand years?

Now before you say anything about that being a little... repetive, so to speak, he knows.

He knows it, his family knows it, pretty much everyone who knows anything about demons (which were, admittedly, only a few hundred at this point) knows it. His summonings were boring, do not summon Dipper Pines unless you want to death, (if not of boredom, then of his ability to find a loophole in pretty much any offer)

It was because of that fact that Dipper, unfortunately,  had not been summoned for almost a hundred years now. Although he was great at twisting the words of a deal around, he supposes that he lacked the skills to think long term. No one wanted to summon him because there was an 100% guaranteed change of getting the exact opposite of what you were hoping for.

He won't admit it, but he supposes that it's because of his pride. Hubris had always been a problem for him. He was not willing to let anyone who offered him a deal leave unscathed, even if he had done it on purpose, even if that might have been the solution to getting just a little more summons. You know, lower that pesky 100% down to, I don't know, 80%?

Well, whatever. It didn't matter so much now that he never got summoned!

That was why he was shocked when he had felt the familiar unrelenting pull of a summoning. A powerful one, at that! This one must be pretty experienced!

Oh, this was so exciting! He was practically vibrating as he went to accept-

No. He needs to calm down. Wait a few seconds, you know. The person on the other side of that circle is the one who's desperate, not him. That's what he tells himself, waiting a minute.

Exactly a minute, not a second off.

As soon as he reaches sixty, he lets the summoning pull him into the circle, arriving wreathed in flames. He remembers a split second after the flames die down to wipe that stupid smile off of his face. Oh shit, did the summoner see that?

He's so caught up in worrying about his mistake that he forgets to tap into his semi- omniscience and learn everything he needs to know about this person. It takes only a second, but it still makes him want to cringe. Yet another mistake.

Ugh, he's already about two seconds off of usual! So far, this summoning was going terribly wrong!

Once he's ready and informed about his summoner, he looks up and clears his throat.

It's now that Dipper is able to get a clear look at him. The summoner looks to be in his mid- twenties, with bleached blond hair and a pirate eyepatch from party city. He's dressed a little informally for summoning a demon, with a T-shirt that has the words "Illuminati Confirmed" and a picture of a triangle with one eye. Dipper has to admit that the summoner isn't exactly what he expected, be he isn't all that special either.

As his eyes dart around he realized that he must have been summoned in this guy's apartment, as they are in a small space with some couches and dirty clothes strewn all over. Disgusting humans and their disgusting habits, he muses.

The summoner looks at him, smiling.

It's not a kind smile (not that he had been expecting one), no, the smile is demeaning, like the kind that he would get from his sister or grunkles.
This kind of smile is usually accompanied by teasing or laughing at him. It's not a smile he likes to recieve. Seeing it on his summoner (who, after a bit of "research" as he liked to call it, was apparently named Bill ) infuriated him.