ohio || l.h

2

song for 2: these days - rascal flatts

dear char,
it is the third day without you here.
each day without you gets harder
and harder. i miss you more than
i have ever missed anything before.
cal said he heard from you, and he said
you seemed okay. but i need to
talk to you, really bad char.
i miss you so much it hurts.
it is physically making me sick
knowing how far away you are,
and knowing you might never
talk to me again. that kills me char.
i miss the way you could understand
me without me having to say a word.
i don't think i will ever find that again.
i know this is a long shot, but please
just call or text me. i need to hear you.
i love you so much charlotte.

i'm not giving up on you.

love,
luke ( half way across the world :-( )

________________________________

i ignored the tears that so badly wanted to fall down my cheeks by quickly placing the letter carter gave me this morning in my drawer, along with the one from the other day. i figured if he is going to keep sending them, i should just had a designated spot to keep them. even though they should just be thrown away.

it has been five days in ohio and i have made progress in unpacking; i only have two boxes left. i also have a job interview this afternoon, which i'm not completely adrenalized about, but i need some way to make money.

i have decided that in a week, before school starts, i will text ariana and just let her know i'm doing okay. as for luke, i plan on never speaking to him again. even though i have yet to go a full day without crying over him at least three times.

i miss him. everything reminds me of him. every tweet thats on my timeline and every song thats on the radio. i see him in everything too. i swear i see his little red car driving behind me. today the sky was really blue, and all i could think about was his eyes.

i guess my attempt to not cry over him today failed, once again. something i have learned the past few nights is that these walls are apparently not sound proof. because whenever i start to cry carter comes into my room.

he walked in and looked at me, with almost the same look luke gave me the night i caught him. it was a look that said many things. it said: i'm so sorry, i love you. are you okay? i hate to see you like this.

those words were written all over lukes face that night.

-flash back-

"cal have you seen luke?" i asked one of my best friends, calum.

"i saw him go upstairs" he yelled back, attempting to be louder then the blasting music that rang throughout the house.

i mumbled a 'thank you' before setting my cup down at the nearest table and fixing my dress. i tried to push my way through the crowd of sweaty, intoxicated people. michael's house was packed with a bunch of wasted people hooking up or dancing. on my way to the stairwell i got stopped by a few guys asking me to dance. i was too focused on finding luke that i didn't even respond.

it's luke and i's one year anniversary, and it is a really special night. it's going to be the night luke and i have sex.

luke knows that i am a virgin, and he knows how important sex is to me. he promised me he would wait until i was ready.

he doesn't know that tonight, i'm ready. i guess it can be part of his anniversary gift.

i walked up the stairs seeing ashton standing in line for the bathroom. "ash! where is luke? have you seen him?" i questioned.