And Then She Stopped

chapter twenty-five

By the time people at school found out about Maya's accident, the population split into two groups; those who made a joke of her, and those who wept and had to be excused because of their panic. Riley hated both groups, because none of them knew her. Riley didn't even know her, and maybe that's why it hurt so much. Maya knew everything about Riley, they talked for hours at night and they wouldn't stop until sleep took over, and up until the other day... Riley thought she knew everything about Maya too. She thought Maya had a good enough home life to make jokes about it, she thought Katy never had a drinking problem, and she thought her and Maya would die together in a nursing home some 100 years in the future.

But she was wrong.

So, Riley was now standing outside of Maya's apartment. If everything went as planned, Katy would be at work and Riley could walk in without disturbance. It was in the middle of the day and Riley's phone kept buzzing in her back pocket as Farkle frantically texted and called her from school wondering where she was. Farkle was holding together surprisingly well through all this, because he, a man of science, was clinging on to hope. He was strong – but she wasn't. She wasn't strong enough to sit in a classroom where people who never even spoke to Maya cried, to be around Lucas, who acted empty and wooden, or to be around Maya's empty seat that Riley wasn't so sure Maya would ever fill again. Riley reached into her pocket and sent Farkle her location and asking him to not come to her. She wanted to be here alone. At first, the door stuck, and Riley struggled to push through. However, she managed and was unpleasantly surprised by what was waiting for her inside.

Without Maya to keep the house tidy, Katy lived in her own filth. Empty bottles of alcohol scattered across the floor and shards of glass were emerging from every which direction. Riley started to sweep up the glass and toss the bottles into the recycling bin, only getting a small taste of what Maya had to go through every day. When she finished, her surroundings seemed more familiar. This is the place she'd slept over at so many times; this place was clean, and safe. Now, Riley made her way over to Maya's bedroom, the door was open slightly and Riley couldn't help but wonder if Maya had come by. If she had, what would she have done? These thoughts clouded her head as she swung open the door.

The room was in the same condition as it was the last time she was here. Maya's bookshelf was filled with old paperbacks that she'd dog-eared and post-it noted the living daylights out of. Riley pulled out a book with a worn down spine and so many notes sticking out of it, they doubled the width of the book. It was the Waves by Virginia Woolf, Riley flicked through the pages and saw many highlighted paragraphs and little notes scribbled in on the side, wondering why Maya never bothered to talk about her favorite books with her. Riley carefully placed the book in her backpack and made her way over to the drawer she'd looked in once before. And just as she'd assumed the time before, there was a stack of letters – one of which had her name on it. She'd just started skimming the words when her phone started vibrating in her back pocket. Startled, Riley shoved the letters into her backpack and answered her phone.

"Hey Riley," Her father spoke in a soft tone, "Did you still want to visit Maya today? Are you at Topanga's? I can come pick you up."

"Oh, yeah. I'm actually at Maya's place right now – just picking up some things I thought she might like to see if she wakes up." Riley looked around the room looking for something that would validate her lie. Cory agreed to pick her up at Maya's apartment and then Riley hung up the phone.

...

The car ride to Maya's hospital was always long, at least five hours each way because Katy never bothered to ask for her daughter to be transferred to a closer, better hospital. This time around some unfamiliar faces sat in the waiting room – kids from Abigail. That's dedication, Riley thought as she watched them pass around the tissues. These people probably never even spoke two words to Maya and yet they made the trip all the way here to wait for her to wake up. Riley held on tighter to Maya's blanket, which she'd grabbed off of the bed just as her dad had texted her he was there, and made her way over to Maya's room. Visitation was limited to family and the people Cory and Topanga pre-approved, they asked for it to be this way. It was better like this, so Maya had a familiar face to see if and when she woke up. Riley moved the chair closer to the bed and carefully reached her hand around cords and wires so she could grab Maya's hand. It was cold and limp, as though she were already a corpse, Riley shivered just thinking about it.

"Hi." She whispered into her best friend's ear, her voice breaking as she spoke, "Hi peaches." She rest her head on Maya's arm, sobbing into the hospital gown.

"I... read... your... letters." She spoke in-between gasps as she wailed, trying to get her crying under control so Maya could hear what she had to say. "I... know... you.... did... this." Riley leaned back and covered her face with her hands, struggling to find the strength to continue.

"But we're all here. We all love you. Lucas visits – like – every day, and we... we need you. I need you."

"So if you could just fight, fight so you can stay with me." Riley looked up to the ceiling, trying to blink back her tears, "Because it's you and me Maya. It's you and me until the end."