A Million Reasons Why.

1.

Today is probably the worst day I've ever encountered. My family and I are moving. To the fucking city. Like, the big city, New York City. Frankly, I'm not excited, nor am I ready. I hate this. Who wants to move to the city anyways? How did my family scrounge up enough money to even move there? Are we going to live in some back alley and feed off of dead rats that the stray cats will bring us? Hell no. I think not.

I can remember that I was in my room as my mind was racing, tears streamed down my face as I heard my name called from the familiar voice of my sister from within bathroom.

"Cerys! Come here and help me!" Cried out my older sister.

I rolled my stinging, wet eyes in the privacy of my room, but I got up and stomped down the hall to the bathroom where my sister was at. The door was cracked slightly and I heard the sound of shuffling around behind the door.I swung the door open slowly and stared at my sister. I leaned against the door frame coolly, trying to seem like I waqsnt upset, but it was pretty obvious I was upset. My cheeks were soaked in my tears. My eyes were red like tomatoes. My lips were swolen and made me look like a frowning clown. 

From my standing position, I stared down at my sister who was crouching down packing things from inside of the cabinites in our bathroom that held things like magazines and random amkeup and toiletries. My sister was honestly beautiful. Everything I ever wanted to be. I wanted to be her. With long and perfectly natural curled auburn hair, green blue eyes that shine like gems sitting in the sunlight. She has freckles across the bridge of her nose and the most defined face and body. She was perfect and didn't know it. Then me on the other hand, I have stick straight hair, that's a dirty blonde color. My eyes are gray and my face is a blob, just like the rest of me. There was no way I could ever be like her.

"Stop staring, Cer and help me out." She said as she stood up, grabbing bottles of shampoo and conditioner out of the shower and placed them in the box behind her that was marked with blotch black marker,"bathroom supplies".

Without another word, I stepped towards the sink cabinet and started grabbing tubes of toothpaste and bars of soap. This hurried packing was obviously making me noticeably nervous because Venus had stopped packing and asked me if I was okay.

"How the hell do you expect me to be okay? We just found out that we're moving in the morning. To a new place, with new people." I muttered, my anger and sadness controlling my emotions. I did not want to move away from my home in this small town. Everyone knows everyone where we live, and that seemed like a nice thing. Moving to a city with eight and a half million people in it. With people visiting from other states and countries all the time. The thought made me shiver with fear. 

Venus shook her head in disbelief. "Cerys, not everything in the world will play out how you expect it to." She paused to think of something more to say. "I can understand why you're so stressed about the move tomorrow morning, but you need to get over it. It will all play out how it is supposed to in the end. The world plays you, to see how you grow afterwords."

I wanted to so badly ignore her, to just seem neutral, but instead, tears started flowing down my face again. She and I went back to packing. We didn't exchange words for a while after that. We were quiet and harly made any noises at all. 

When there was nothing left to pack in the bathroom, I left without a word to my sister. I wiped my eyes with my wrist as I walked down the hallway back to my room. There lay a big box, and multiple small boxes. I stared at those boxes with more tears building up in my eyes. I got down on the floor and started picking up my dirty clothes that have been laying there for weeks now. I threw them into one of the bigger boxes along with my clean clothes that I never put away.

I just didn't care. I wanted to stay here, in my home. Home is where the heart is, right? That means my holme is here. In my small town where I've been living since I was born. I am not ready to move into some apartment that we were going to be moving into in the big city. I'm shaken up having to go to a new school. Maybe I'll actually have friends, or maybe it'll be just like it is here. I'll make fake friends or everyone hates me, just like everyone here.

I continued packing, with the same thoughts streaming through my mind like salmon swimming upstream. Several hours flew by and I was almost done packing, all I had left was my bed and bed frame, my dresser, and my desk, but that all will wait for morning when we have the moving truck. I sat down on my bed just to do a bit of scrolling through my phone, but obviously nothing good caught my attention because when I opened my eyes, I could see the morning light beaming through my blinds.

Great. Just great. I checked my phone to see the time. We leave in less than an hour. I'm beyond shocked that my family didn't come wake me up at the break of dawn.

At this point, I felt more tired than ever. Maybe it was stress or something, but I had no intention of doing anything today, even if it meant being left behind in this shit town while my family is off on their way to New York. I wouldn't care. As long as I stay where I'm familiar. 

I guess the world is against me today, because Venus bursts through my door. of course, I thought out loud accidentally. Venus didn't say anything to my remark and just started grabbing boxes that were piled up by my door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Venus?" I yelled out at her, angered at her sign that it was finally that time. Time to move half way across the country.

"Well, I finished loading my stuff onto the truck and I was getting bored, so mom told me to help you load your stuff onto the truck." Venus said in a soft tone, almost as if she was a bit tired and nervous herself, but she was perfect. She couldn't be tired if she tried.

I didn't want to say anything to Venus, so I just started helping her with my boxes. Sure I'd love to stay behind while they leave to a shitty apartment, but they're my family and I'm not 18 yet. I have to go with them. 

It only took us half an hour to get all of our stuff combined onto the moving truck. I couldn't believe we were that quick, but that means we're leaving any time now. So with my little time left in my home that I grew up in, I ran through the house to my empty bedroom. I examined the walls. One could see all the thumb tack holes in the walls that once held up my posters and pictures. The lilac colored paint on the wall had started chipping away near the corners of my room. Wow. I can't believe it. This is it.

I reached for my phone that was on the window sill, right where my bed used to be. I held my phone close to my chest, and thats when something inside of me truly broke. I stood there in the middle of my room, sobbing. Hoping for something to happen. Something to make me happy again, but I know that would never happen.

Then I heard my door creak and I looked up and saw my mom standing in my doorway through my blurry, watering eyes. "Its time to get going, Cerys." She said cooly. Much cooler than I would've expected coming from my mother on moving day.

I could hardly pick up my feet, but I made it to the door, where I collapsed onto her. She held me there for a few short minutes and whispered sweet nothings to me in an effort to calm me down. It worked a bit and she managed to get me outside and into our car.