"No body thinks what I think,
Nobody dreams when they blink
Think things on the brink of blasphemy
I'm my own shrink
Think things are after me, my catastrophe
At my kitchen sink,
You don't know what that means
Because a kitchen sink to you
Is not a kitchen sink to me, OK friend?
Are you searching for purpose?
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless
Then paint something then, it might be wordless
Pointless curses, nonsense verses
You'll see purpose start to surface
No one else is dealing with your demons
Meaning maybe defeating them
Could be the beginning of your meaning, friend." I sing out at the top of my lungs. I've heard this song so many times, it just always makes me happy.
"BE QUIET PJ!" My dad shouts from downstairs and I instantly turn off my music.
Why am I even here? Sometimes I feel like everything I'm doing in life, I'm doing to make others happy.
Why can't I ever make myself happy? Why can't I finally be the one who's smiling and not sad all the time?
But, that's never going to be me.
I build my walls up too damn high for that, and they're indestructible.
"Pj some dude is here to see you" my dad says and I run down the stairs to find a crying Chris.
"Chris what's wrong? I ask him.
"I did something I should have never done."
"What did you do?" I ask him scared of what he was about to say.
"Can we go somewhere else? I really don't want to be here" Chris says, and I just nod my head.
We start walking into a bright green forest that has a treehouse in it.
"Chris, what is this place?" I ask him stunned by its beautiful scenery. "It's my dad's old tree house" Chris says, still crying from before.
"Okay Chris, what's going on?" I ask nervously.
"I went through my old photo books, and I found one of me and my dad when I was five. It hurts so much Pj..I relapsed." He says in between sobs. "Oh my god Chris! Why didn't you call me?" I ask him slightly raising my voice. "I don't know, I just wasn't thinking straight" Chris says, and sighs.
I just hug him and say "Chris listen. I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I know depression. It's okay not to be okay."
"Thank you so much PJ, for everything." Chris says to me, and I smile.
And then I realize something. Making people feel good makes me feel good.
"Can I ask, you something serious?" I ask Chris and he nods his head.
"Are you actually happy?"
"What do you mean? Of course I am, this was all just a mistake." Chris says, but I know better. He's lying straight to my face.
"Chris I'm not stupid. I know you're not happy, but that's okay! You don't always have to be the strong one." I say to him, and he smiles.
"You're right. I just wish there was a way to become happy." Chris says, as a single tear rolls down his cheek.
"But there is a way!" I shout causing Chris to take a step back.
"How? I'm literally a mess, you can't make me happy." Chris says and then sighs. "You bet I can" I say and stand up, motioning him to do so as well.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see!" I respond as I take his hand and start walking.
I knew exactly what would make him happy!
"We're here!" I saw to Chris and he smiles. "Really Pj? A bowling alley?" Chris asks me and the smile falls from my face. "Oh, you don't like it?" I ask him. "Like it? Pj I love it!" Chris says and I start grinning happy of the choice I made.
Chris's favorite band had always been 5 seconds of summer, since he was 12. He told me so many things about them in our conversations, I probably know more than an average fan!
"So Chris we should probably go get our shoes" I say to him but he's to busy staring at someone else. "Is that Luke Hemmings?!" Chris whispers loudly into my ear while pointing to the left.
"Holy crap that is him! Who's that girl he's with?" I ask Chris.
Luke was currently sitting with a pretty brunette girl with long hair and blue eyes. I know I recognize her from somewhere...
"That's Ashton's girlfriend! But what's she doing with Luke?" Chris asks me and I shrug my shoulders.
"How am I supposed to know, I don't even listen to their music!" I say making Chris laugh. "I'm gonna go ask for a photo, you can go get the shoes. I'm a size 7" Chris says and I nod my head.
I walk over to the man, who clearly didn't like his job.
"What do you want?" The man says annoyed. "Uhh I need one size 7 and one size 6 pair of shoes please" I say to him.
"MARCUS GET A PAIR OF 7 AND 6!" The guy shouts to this one worker.
"Here ya go!" The worker says to me, a lot nicer than the man behind the counter. "Thank you" I say quickly and run back to me and Chris' lane.
"Okay sir, enter your name in here" the worker says to us.
After me and Chris entered our names, it was war time.
"Okay Chris, you're up first!" I say and him and he looks back at me and grins.
"You're going down Pj."
"Oh, try me."
Chris then rolled and knocked down two pins. "So much for beating me" I say as I lean my hand on the wall. "It's only the first round, calm yourself." Chris says and I laugh.
Then Chris rolls again, and surprisingly knocked over the rest of the pins.
"Haha see! I told you I can do better!" Chris shouts at me. "Good job, but watch me beat you" I say, grinning at him. "Like you could ever."
"Oh, is that a bet?"
"I don't know, is it?"
"But you said something to me"
"Oh, then yeah. It is a bet. If I win you have to pay for the pizza" Chris says and I smile.
"Oh, it's on."
I then get up to take my turn. I quickly grab my bowling ball and roll it down the lane.
As the ball rolled down the ally, it was in a strait path. It then hit dead in the middle and knocked over all the pins.
"Ha! I got a strike!" I say to Chris and he pouts.
"I'll come back and beat you!" Chris says and I smile. "You know you can't" I say and stick my tongue out at him.
In the last set I was ahead of Chris by one hundred points.
"Look at that, I win" I say to him and he sighs. "Okay okay, let's just get the pizza" Chris says and then grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers.
"You know, I think I realized something" Chris says to me. Oh no, maybe he realized how dumb he was to hold my hand in public. Or how ugly I am.
"Are the characters in your play named after 5sos?" Chris asks me and I sigh. "Yeah.." I say slowly. "But, you don't listen to them though" Chris says.
"I did it for you."
"Wait, what do you mean? You named the characters after the boys..for me?" Chris asks me and I smile.
"Yes I did. I know how much you love them, and how much you love theatre. So, why not?" I say and Chris starts to tear up. "That's so sweet oh my god" Chris says, and I laugh.
"Let's go get our food now, we have a big day tomorrow!" Chris says, and I nod my head.
The play is tomorrow, and I'm extremely nervous.
YOU ARE READING
The play (kickthestickz)
FanfictionPj had been getting bullied and abused since he came out. The school is holding a contest to see who could write the best play. Then they will put it on. Along with all that, there's a new boy in town and he makes Pj happy. But he's not falling for...
