deranged | phan

Chapter 9

Dan's POV

I felt happy for a while there. Phil laying with me, the note the nurse left.

Now i'm not so happy anymore. Phil left for his private therapy. He's only been gone for about 15 minutes, but I feel so horrible. I think it's partly because I had such an awful day, but also because I haven't cut in a while.

I miss it.

Without thinking twice, I go to my drawer and fish out my carefully hidden glass. I take it to the bathroom, because this always gets a bit messy.

I stand over the sink, and start swiping at my skin. The red lines start showing up, my god how I craved seeing those again. They start dripping, which makes it even more satisfying. I close my eyes and lean back for a moment, feeling better already. All the tension and stress of the day feels like it was dissolved; like it didn't even matter.

I didn't realize how many cuts I had actually done. It was a lot more than I had intended.

I run my arm under the water, and scrub the blood out of the sink. Phil having his neatness problem always cleans everything, and he would notice if the sink was even slightly bloody.

I take some tissue and dry off my arm, and then I flush it down the toilet.

I would use a towel, but the hospital washes those and would for sure question me on why there was blood on them.

I have to be a lot more careful now.

I also wash off the glass I used to cut, as I imagine Phil might check it sometimes.

By the time I was finished, there was only 10 minutes before Phil got back.

With my wrist slightly stinging, I lay on my bed and put my headphones on so it looks like i've been like this the whole time.

When Phil comes back, he doesn't look like he suspected anything, so he quickly changes and goes to bed.

He must be tired.