Kiss Cam [Teaser/Published October 2016]

CHAPTER FIFTEEN | THE FAULTS IN OUR KISSING ARRANGEMENT

THE TALK WITH my dad gives me a lot to think about, but Kissmas makes it hard to decide what to do. After mulling over the problem for a while, I've decided that my dad is right. I know I already had time to think about Kiss Cam before we started it. I also know that things shouldn't be weird unless feelings are involved—that's what Jasper and I discussed—however, I can't ignore the fact that my dad is right. This whole thing is dirty. How can I kiss Jasper and then turn around and flirt with the attractive boy who sits behind me in calculus? What does that say about me? What does it say about Jasper?

A part of me wants to think like Jasper and not care about what is considered "normal" and what is considered "abnormal." Like him, I'd just like to go with the flow. But I know that one of us has to be responsible—and since I know he never will, that leaves me. I have to be the one to end this arrangement, because it's just not right for friends to behave this way. We've gone too far.

The problem is I'm conflicted, even though I know my decision is right. How will we be able to drop Kiss Cam when Kissmas has made it so popular? What are our viewers going to say when we suddenly end the segment we've put so much emphasis on and know they enjoy? How is Jasper going to react when I tell him I can't go through with this anymore? Is he going to respect that I'm no longer comfortable with it, or is he somehow going to convince me that the segment needs to stay?

I know he doesn't want Kiss Cam to end. He gets all giddy every time he gets an e-mail about it, reads a comment about our ship, or starts filming the next day of Kissmas. He thinks it's some sort of fun challenge. It's a game to him. He's not going to understand.

I get nervous every time I consider all the conflicts that could arise the moment I put Kiss Cam on the chopping block. I feel even worse when Jasper kisses me over the next three days, because he doesn't know how Kissmas is going to end.

But it was the deal from the beginning. When I say stop, we stop.

Waking up Christmas morning still gives me the same warm feeling that it did when I was younger. The only difference is instead of waking up at seven in the morning to jump on my parents' bed, I wake up at ten in the morning and bang on my parents' door before heading to the bathroom to try and make myself semi-presentable. If you have parents like mine, you know how crucial it is to tidy up a bit before opening gifts, because even if you get a pair of socks, you're taking a picture. Twenty years from now I'm not going to care about that pair of socks, but for the sake of "memories," I have to go through with the whole process—even if I have to fake a smile.

My parents make it downstairs before I do, and my mom goes ahead and turns on all the Christmas lights. She's also taken time to light all her cinnamon apple candles, which is going to make the house smell sweet before we finish exchanging gifts.

After my dad gets the camera, we all sit down in front of the tree my mom and I decorated a couple weeks back. I watch my dad's face light up when he opens the gift from my mother, I watch her gush over some diamond earrings, and my parents capture my face after I open every single present they got me. There is hugging and more picture taking that make my cheeks hurt. My mom starts laughing so hard she cries when my dad tries to set up his new tent in the living room but can't even get it to stand upright. I do end up getting a new pair of fuzzy socks, so I slide down the hall in them until I lose my balance and fall down.

My mom makes homemade cinnamon rolls later in the morning, and I go back to my bedroom to change. Every year my family and Jasper's go over to Davises' Lenny's house for a big breakfast. It gives Lenny, Jasper, and me an opportunity to chill out and exchange gifts while our parents socialize with one another.

Usually, I just throw my hair up and go in my sweatpants, but I can't this time. While our parents are catching up over sugar cookies and Mrs. Davis's homemade white hot chocolate, Lenny, Jasper, and I are going to sneak off to film the final day of Kissmas. If I'm getting kissed—especially on camera—I need to do better than pulling on a sweatshirt so I don't have to wear a bra. So I take a shower, dab on a little makeup, and dress in a white sweater and dark jeans. The effort I put in doesn't go unnoticed by my dad, either, because when I meet him and my mom downstairs I receive a raised eyebrow once he's taken in my appearance. The suspicion stops at him, though, because my mom sighs in relief upon seeing me—praising God I've matured enough to realize that my appearance is a direct reflection on how she's raised me.