69 Shades of Bandom • Multiship

Mikey's Notebook (Petekey Fluff)

Ship: Pete/Mikey
Words: 1720

(Sorry if this is kind of confusing, tried to write something sad but I suck at it)

My name's Mikey.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm just bored. Depressed. Kind of want to die. The same shit as usual.   God I hope nobody finds this. It's a little embarrassing to be honest. Anyways. I met Pete Wentz today at warped tour. He's the bassist in Fall Out Boy. He's cool. It would be cool if we became friends or something but I doubt it would work out. I don't know he just seems like a really chill guy, you know? I'm talking to a fucking journal. What's wrong with me? I have no clue. Bye for now.

The pages are now littered with my tears. The black pen splotched in the drops of sadness.

June 7th, 2005

I should probably start dating these. It's been three days since my last entry. He let me cuddle with him. I like him but no homo. I'm straight. It was kind of awkward but I think I liked it. A guilty pleasure I guess.

June 8th, 2005

I think I'm gay. Pete is hot. Like... Attractive. Oh god what is wrong with me? I shouldn't be gay.

June 10th, 2005

Pete and I were alone today. Everyone else was out at the bonfire but we decided to stay in the bus because it was cold outside. He kissed me... One thing led to another and we had sex. I'm still not sure if it was fucking or making love but I don't care. It was amazing and I don't regret it. When I woke up, there was a note in lipstick on my arm.

Taken 6/10

June 17th, 2005

I think we're just friends. Really close friends. So it guess it was casual. I don't have feelings for him, though. I don't think so at least. We made love

It's crossed through.

Had sex again. It was amazing. I don't think I've even had a better fuck. I honestly suck. I might ask him to show me how to get better so in the future I can be better to him. But we do only have two months, don't we? I'll make it last. When I woke up, there was writing on my arm again and he was gone. Again.

No homo

Turn the page. My hands are shaking so much I nearly rip the sheet. But I don't.

June 20th, 2005

We're in Mexico. We sat on a bridge and talked for a long time. The sun was bright and it was honestly beautiful. We talked about life. I told him I was feeling really down before the warped tour but since I've met him, I'm happier. I think he's my best friend, I've never been so close to someone before. We didn't fuck today but he did kiss me a lot. Is that normal for friends in a casual affair?

June 24th, 2005

Gerard asked me about Pete today. He asked if I was in love with him. It's not. There's no way I'm in love with Pete fucking Wentz. That's crazy. We're just friends. I promise. Anyways, he said he heard us and he said that if I needed tips he'd help me. That was embarrassing. I just said no and he shrugged and left. A little later, I was in our bus and Pete came in. We went outside for a bit and smoked. It's been a while since I last had a cigarette. It was relieving, honestly, there's so much stress with the warped tour and shit. We watched the sun set again. It was beautiful. Just him and I. I fell asleep at some point and woke up in his arms a little bit later. The stars were out and since we were taking a break for the night, we were able to watch for a while. There wasn't any light pollution. I saw the Milky Way. He held me close that night and I remember what he said as we gazed up, "The stars may the light to their world but you're the light to mine." I didn't reply. The only thing I think I could reply with was, "I love you," but I don't. I don't think I do at least. We're just friends.