I decided to go ahead and write anyway even if you guys don't like it which tbh I'm assuming you guys don't lol But this story means a lot to me so I will continue you write regardless of how many reads I get!! X
I felt hurt and upset I didn't quite understand what was going on, why didn't he want to kiss me? Luke could see the hurt in my eyes and went on to explain. "the thing is Sarah I've never kissed a girl before, I have never even come as close to this as kissing a girl and so I didn't want to make a fool of my self in front of you in case I didn't do it right" seeing Luke being so honest with me made me realise that this was going to be something special, I replied "Don't be silly, let me show you..." I leant in to kiss him and our lips touched just for a second, "hmmm no spark no nothing, I thought maybe if I carried on and guided Luke and find his tongue with mine some sparkle would happen, but even when our tongues did meet and we gently massaged our tongues over each other I felt nothing I could tell he was really getting into it but me? I wasn't feeling it. I pulled away and I could see his disappointment, "I'm sorry Luke I don't think I can do this anymore, I'm sorry. He looked even more devastated I felt bad I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach I felt as though a ton of bricks had fallen on top of me and I would be buried head deep in them.
I waited for his reply but no words left his mouth, I felt awkward and didn't know what to do, just before I could break the silence he turned and walked away, I watched him walk until I could no longer see him anymore, the breeze hit me so hard I could feel the goosebumps begin to appear on my arms, with that I opened my door and ran straight up to my room, I felt awful why would I do such an awful thing why would I just do that to him, the first girl he had ever kissed and I had to shut him off like that! Omg Sarah you're such a fool! As the tears poured from my eyes my heart beat faster and harder with the guilt of it all, I was 15 and a fool I didn't know about boys! My mum was right I should just leave boys out of my life until I know what to do with my feelings. I then felt my phone buzz in my jeans pocket, I rushed to grab my phone and read the text in my head I was thinking it was Luke but to my surprise it wasn't! It was David! The butterflies began to flutter in my stomach I completely forgot about Luke and all I could think of was David, how much I had missed him were had he been this whole time? Thoughts rushed through my head I was excited, nervous I needed to read this text!!
"Hey Sarah, Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while I went to Paris for 2 weeks with my family, how are you? I hope you are okay I will be on msn if you want to talk, I missed you!
David
Xxx"
HE MISSED ME!! This had to be a joke I went to reply but decided to get onto msn as soon as possible! I was so nervous signing in I waited patiently as I watched to two little messenger icons spin around each other like a merry go round I just want to be signed in. within seconds I was in and scanned for his name, as I was about to click he popped up, a smile came to my face as I saw a very big hello appear on my screen, I felt giddy and happy again I couldn't believe he was online I hadn't spoken to him in such a long time, I was so glad to see he wasn't off with me, and that we were still as good as ever, we spoke till we both got extremely tiered and just like old times I went to be with the biggest smile on my face, I slept like a log and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
I woke up the next mourning not feeling very well, I had a raised temperature and stomach pains, I didn't look well at all, I walked into my mum's room and told her I didn't feel well she told me to see how I went on with the rest of the day and see how I felt, knowing I wouldn't I did what she said I got ready for school.
I approached school with a numb feeling in my body I didn't know why I was feeling so glum I had spoken to David for the first time in 2 weeks! Surely I would be over the moon, I walked to form without speaking to my friend Helen as usual and sat into form waiting for my form tutor to take the mourning register, I gazed out the window and saw how beautiful the school garden looked from up here, the grass was so green, the cherry trees that hang out side where fully blossomed and looked so delicate and fluffy the sun was peeping out from in between the white clouds, how was it the world outside was much happier than what I feeling. As missed called my name I answered and the bell rang, I walked out of form and I saw him, David outside my form room waiting for me?? Why me? He never usually waited for me out side of my form. We exchanged Hi's and he asked me if he could walk me to my next lesson, of course I said yes and told him where my next class was, as we walked the usual butterflies I got from talking to him appeared again, they didn't seem to bother me though I was just so happy to be in David's company again I hadn't actually realise how much I had missed him until this very moment. We began talking about how I was feeling today and how my mum had sent me to school even though I didn't feel at all well. I said "sometimes I think all you need is a hug when you get in moods like this" with that he smiled and pulled me in close, my heart was jumping about in my chest and I felt so much better it was then I knew I was utterly and completely in love with him. I knew the feelings I had for David where not friendship ones I knew that I loved him and I wanted to tell him how I felt. But what if he didn't like me? And I ruin everything, I don't know, maybe I should wait and see if he says anything yes Sarah that's a good idea do not say anything just be happy to be friends for now and see what happens. As we approached my next class he spoke to me with kind words, "I have really missed you a lot the two weeks I was away Sarah, I am really glad to see you again, I love having you as my best friend you mean a lot to me" I smiled but my heart sank into my chest, "best friend" was that all he felt for me I was hurt, a dagger through my heart wouldn't have hurt as much as this pain I felt right now. I could feel the tears filling my eyes I didn't want to cry not now, please not now, I pulled them back as much as I could and walked into class without even replying to David's comment. I saw Helen sitting down in her usual seat, she saw me in the verge of tears and held me close and asked me what was wrong. "David, only see's me as a best friend" she looked shocked and hugged me tighter! "Oh hunny he has no idea how amazing you are! When he goes out with a few girls he will realise exactly who he loves and he will come running to you to see how blind he was to not see the girl of his dreams standing before him!" as much as I knew Helen was just trying to comfort me I couldn't help but think it wasn't true, he had said best friend I had heard him right he said best friend, I spose that will all we will ever be. Stupid feelings!
My mum was right maybe I should wait until I am old enough to understand my feelings and just be young and free whilst I can. As much as I tried to convince my self that! I didn't think I could follow my mum's words.
That night I decided to get on with homework I didn't want to think about boys or any form of relationships it was hard not thinking of David but soon enough I was getting into my homework more than I normally would.
Feeling proud of my self I had managed to get bits of my coursework done, wow when I really put effort in I don't half work fast. I had a mini rave to my self as I completed the homework. I heard the doorbell go and left it for my family to answer it. I was a lazy girl really and usually left it to my brother to answer the door it was usually his friends anyway.
"Sarah, it's for you" I heard my brother call.
"Coming" I shouted back.
I walked to the door and my heart almost stopped!
DAVID WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE?!? AT MY HOUSE! I HAVE NEVER EVEN TOLD HIM WHERE I LIVED!
Startled and full of questions I walked out on the step and closed the door behind me, Surprise! You happy to see me he asked, "I am but more confused, how did you know where I lived and why are you here? Not that I am complaining but still"
"I asked your friend Helen where you lived, I wanted to see you Sarah I have something I want to tell you"
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, I felt so happy, but what did he want to tell me?
"Really, aww that is so sweet Day, what did you want to tell me?" He looked nervous, he began to stutter in his words until he managed to build up the courage and just say what he came to say, "I c c came to see you because I have been feeling something strange but wonderful for the few months we have been friends, what I am trying to say Saz, is that I, I love you!" fireworks blew up in the in heart! I jumped on him in delight and felt so so happy, I calmed my self and let go of him, "I have something to say too, I have known I have liked you for a while now Day, and I wasn't sure whether you liked me, you said we were best friends and so I took that as a "we are just friends" kinda comment, but the thing is Day is I love you too!" my fact went scarlet as did his when he reached out his arms and embraced me in his well toned arms. He lifted my chin up and gazed into my big green eyes, i felt as though my heart was going to explode into my chest, when he leant in and kissed me. Tingles shot through my body like an adrenalin rush I felt the tip of his tongue brush the bottom of mine signalling he wanted me to kiss him more, I felt my way for his tongue until we were both massaging each other with each movement I felt my body weaken, I never wanted this kiss to stop, it was like nothing I had ever felt before, I was so happy. We both pulled away and looked completely taken away. My heart was smiling, I was smiling he was smiling, oh how I wanted to shout to the world how much I loved him. We hugged for a bit and started talking about everything and anything, "I guess this kind of means were a couple now doesn't it?" I asked "indeed I think it does, and I couldn't be happier!" my stomach fluttered and I felt so overwhelmed by it all. As it began to grow dark he decided to get off home as he said he had a bit of a journey back home. I thanked him for his visit and before he left he kissed me softly on my lips and walked off. I had never felt this way before; I danced back into my house and flopped on my bed. A big sigh of relief left my mouth before slowly drifting off dreaming of my wonderful evening.
