I'm back! Lately I've been suffering mental lapses lately that have come with the start of school, so I haven't been on as much as I would like. My mental health is actually at the lowest it's been in my entire life, but I'm disassociating to the point where it doesn't matter to me how I feel anymore, so that's one upside.
I have the normal amount of classes, now, because before, I had A/B schedules, so it's quite a change. And my school is larger than my old one, with 1400 more kids, so that's a bit of a hassle, maneuvering up and down the stairs and through the hallways with all of the people coming and going. I don't like it. The workload is confusing and I shift from understanding the bare-minimum to understanding less than nothing. My two favorite classes are Spanish and Choir, even though I nearly had a panic attack in choir, and the boy I sit next to in Spanish is kind of...:/. Speaking of Choir! My choir group has the opportunity to go on a weeklong tour of New York and sing at Carnegie hall! I'm so excited I can barely stand it. We're doing so much fundraising, including a haunted house and an online store and an online store. (The profits go directly to my New York trip fund, I'll link it if ur interested ;)) I'm planning on doing a music video project for it, and I want to post it on instagram, so all of you can see it, but my parents won't let me have one.
Some white sophomores got into a fight today, over some homophobic freshman, who bullied my friend in her 7th grade year. It was wild, but I don't like fights, so I don't truly care but I'm still nosy lol. This kind of stuff happened all the time at my old school. I'm impartial and unimpressed.
I'm so psyched for fall/winter y'all.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I walked barefoot in cold rain for those photos, guys. I'm also dying for Halloween to roll around, because, as part of our fundraising, we're running a haunted house out of chocolate shop in our town. It's gonna be lit, I can't wait. I'm going as Kylo Ren!! A whiny trash baby!
I've been reading a webcomic called Check, Please! And it's about hockey and Tol boys and one smol boy. My favorite character is Kent Parson, blonde and trashy, how I like them. You guys should give it a read.
If you're still reading this, my mood, along with my goals have been askew lately, and I can't focus on anything as much as I used to be able to (which was barely at all). I think that I want to get recognized at a young age for something social justice centered, and, I don't know, maybe this is where it will happen, although sometimes it doesn't feel like it. But I know I want someone to notice me, maybe I'll feel like my life has some semblance of purpose, then. Maybe my self esteem won't be in such a low place.
I've been thinking about posting new books, but I realize I need to focus on the ones that I've already begun writing, even though the plots are flimsy and lazy, and the characters are boring and cliched. But that's the path I chose, I guess. I need to work harder, I think.
My titles for these chapters are so cheesy?? My topics are so bland and overused?? Why didn't anyone tell me that?? I'm cringing™... I'm doing a bunch of deleting and editing, as soon as I have the time lol.
Anyway, if I can think of anything else to say to you guys, I will. I'm sorry it's loaded with negative emotion.
MY LINKS/ PINTEREST| @goghnuts TUMBLR| tawnyache.tumblr.com
