Such Great Heights

Chapter 3

It's been over 200 years since the last time Lauren went on a date. That fact alone makes her uncertain for the date that she is about to go on with the very girl who accidentally rammed her car the other day. But that's not the only reason she's a bit skeptical.

Lauren never had much luck with dating even back when her life was normal.

In high school, she had one serious boyfriend for almost a year. His name was Luis and she had all of her important firsts with him—first date, first kiss, first prom, and of course, her first time. As time passed in their relationship, however, she felt like she was settling. She was attached to him only because he was so many of her firsts. They took cute pictures and looked like a cute couple from the outside, but in reality, Lauren lost the passion and affection about halfway through the relationship. The only reason she didn't dump him was because she felt like she had nothing better to do. The day that she moved away to college, she broke his heart and never looked back.

During her first two years of college, she went on her share of dates with boys. She found a common pattern with every single date that she went on—they only wanted her body. They wanted to fuck. They wanted to have some no strings attached fun, and if you even mentioned the possibility of something serious, they'd run. So she'd have the occasional hookup, yet she'd never feel fulfilled partly because the boys sucked in bed. Though mostly, it wasn't fulfilling to her emotionally. She wanted to connect. She wanted something more than just sex.

Then, in her third year of college, she met Lucy. Up until this point, she identified strictly as straight. Sure, she had her share of "girl crushes" – who wouldn't find celebrities like Megan Fox and Amber Heard attractive? Meeting Lucy completely destroyed her perception and confidence of her own sexuality. The two of them bonded and connected quickly on a level that surpassed any connection Lauren shared with any of her other friends.

That's all they were for a few months. Just friends. Deep down, both of them knew that it went deeper than that. Lauren looked forward to spending time with Lucy the most out of anyone. She started to crave her presence and felt her heart pounding and her cheeks flushing whenever she would see her friend.

Lucy was the one to make the first move. They had just smoked a couple bowls in Lauren's apartment and were watching an indie movie, their bodies close under a blanket on the couch. Neither of them were paying much attention to the movie, though. Lucy scooted closer to Lauren and made her advances very cautiously, ensuring that the other girl was comfortable every step of the way. As their faces leaned in and their lips inched closer, Lucy whispered to Lauren to stop her if she didn't want this.

Lauren didn't stop her.

From that day forward, it became clear that they were more than just friends. Lauren had never felt like this with anyone before. Not Luis, and certainly not any of her past hookups. The one and only thing that was stopping them from putting a label on it was Lauren's internalized homophobia.

She was raised in a primarily conservative household. Her dad would always scoff in disgust whenever a gay couple was portrayed on TV, and her brother would constantly use the words "gay" and "faggot" as insults. All of these little anti-gay actions and behaviors that she was exposed to growing up added up. She wasn't outwardly homophobic like most of her family; she had plenty of gay friends at college and wholeheartedly supported gay rights. But there was no way in hell that she was gay. She's straight. That's how she always has been.

Her feelings for Lucy confused her. The way that the other girl made her cum so hard while no boy could ever even get close. She definitely felt more passion than she ever felt while she was dating Luis.