at my fingertips // phan

three

-Phil's POV-
I woke up in a mess of bed sheets and bright light, it was morning and the horrible memories of last nights "dream" were fading. I felt calm rhythmic breathing beside me as I found dan, curled around my body lovingly while he slept. 

He no longer had the lingering scent of bars and drinking, but smelled like home. He snored softly, and i reached over to push some of his curling "hobbit hair" out of his face, he always kept it straightened but it was an adorable factor about him. As i did so he stirred softly, pulling his body closer to mine. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck sighing as he did so. His breaths were warm and comforting.

 I shuffled slightly to grab my phone, sure to not wake the boy clinging to me. Swiping to the right and entering my password i texted my mom, questions about a soulmates kiss buzzing in my brain and making me nauseous.

Phil : hey mum?

Mum : yes phillip?

Phil: remember when you told me about a "soulmates kiss"? 

Phil: when i was young?

Mum: yes dear, when you kiss your soulmate you get to see a colorful world, just like when i kiss your father or when grandmother kissed grandpa when you were very small.

Mum: you've heard the story many times, why ask now?

Phil: are soulmates gender specific?

Mum: i don't suppose so, why?

Phil: i think i've found my souls mate mum.

Mum: who?

Mum: Phil?

Mum: Phil who is it?

That settled it, Dan had to be my soulmate, but I still didn't know if i was his. I don't want to scare him off though, claiming he kissed me and that we were.. soulmates. The word felt strange on my tongue. I quietly set down my phone, cradling Dan in my arms and drifting into bliss once more.

The second time i woke up, it wasn't to the rhythmic sighs of Dan breathing, but a loud irritating noise of my alarm clock. I startled awake and sat up, displeased that the once filled space next to me where Dan had been was now empty without a trace. Maybe he had woken up and gotten back into his own bed. I pulled the covers off calmly and stepped into the wooden floor, it was cold and sent chills up my spine. Pondering over to my mirror i examined my appearance, pulling my hands hurriedly through my messy hair.

 It wasn't too bad though and i seemed to look okay after crying so much last night. I opened my door, pausing to open he door to Dan's room and see if he was inside. based on the heap of blankets atop the bed, I guessed yes.

I walked down the hall way, moving to the kitchen to brew some coffee. I heard movement behind me and turned to see Dan.

"good morning Philly" he greeted me, stepping up to the cupboard and opening it to retrieve a bottle of ibuprofen.
"my head hurts an awful lot, what happened.." he murmured, speaking his thoughts aloud. I couldn't help but chuckle, maybe it would be okay, he didn't remember.
"you got pretty drunk Dan" I replied to his thoughts.
"did i? that would make a lot of sense..."
"yeah, be careful next time."
"did I do something?" he asked me quizzically, tilting his head ever so slightly his eyes unwavering as they pierced into mine.
images flashes back into my head if last night. reliving them horrifically. I went silent for a few seconds, just enough for Dan to become concerned. I snapped back with his hands on my shoulders, gently gripping my shirt with worry.
"Phil?"
I shifted backwards awkwardly,
"oh sorry I zoned out.. heh,"
i weakly spoke, putting my hands in my pockets and trying my best to smile believably.
"no you didn't do anything, I made sure you were fine."
"that's good" he said back, removing his hands from me and reaching for a glass of water, taking the pill with it.
I began making coffee, pausing to ask Dan if he wanted any. he only answered with a shrug and a quiet no thanks.

I want back to my bedroom to get ready for the day, hoping to shake the haunting awkwardness that loomed between Dan and I.