Sometimes I feel like the world is gonna fall on me. Other times I feel like there is nothing I can't do. Today is one of those days where I feel like is the end of me. I feel so much hatred. I hate the humiliations I've felt over the years. I hate the oh! so painful memories. Those that are inflicted in my brain & somehow I can't get them away. Every time, every single time I hear his voice, I remember every scream, every curse, every punch on the doors, the walls & even the tables.
I can't look at him in the eyes. I don't know why. But I hate it with all my might. It makes me feel weak, it makes me feel like he has control over my life. I hate it so much it hurts. I hate being alone with him because just knowing he is there it makes me so irritated. My emotions are all over the place & I can't even get my words out. I just... I just don't know. After the anger and the hatred comes the calmness. And right now I'm there... I don't feel nothing. But I don't want to see him or be around him because I detest him. And I know I shouldn't be feeling this but I do, I just do. And I don't want to but I can't help it. And I beg to God to make me stronger, and fearless. But I just don't know. I know that if I get out now... I will be able to be better. To make myself better and make myself stronger. But for now it is impossible. I just have to dream about a beautiful home, with peace quiet and dream about having everything I want. And what I want is happiness.
-A ♥
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Diary of a Broken Heart
Non-FictionSee the world through the view of a woman whose heart has been crushed many times. Join the life of eyes who see darkness but can find light in the most rare of places. Diary of a Broken heart is a book with pages taken from a journal where a series...