Turn away (komahina angst)

I will not kiss you

    Komaeda's P.O.V   

      I was drifting into despair rapidly as every moment passed by even though I had tried to stop it with hope it didn't work, i mean it's hard to be positive when you have only under a year to live and your life quality is pretty horrible being stuck in a hospital .

 To explain I have frontal lobe dementia and advanced lymphoma and the one causing my life's deadline is the latter . Also I am writing in a journal which my nurse says is to try and increase my motor skills like writing and reading and shit but it's not enjoyable and really frustrating, and it means I just stare at the ceiling a lot and just think instead of writing. Which I think is perfectly fine since most of the other ultimates won't even look at my sick face and much less come in and visit me, that is except hinata-kun. 

Ah yes Hinata Hajime, the reason of half of my emotional turmoil you see he decided "Since you aren't going to live much longer let me confess my feelings!" Which was such a bad move on his part, honestly though he's not a bad guy I have had a crush on him since kindergarten which apparently was requited much to my amazement because I'm trash not worthy of his love even though he tells me to stop beating myself up about it. 

But even if he gives me a little hope it doesn't outweigh the despair of knowing I will have to leave him behind in this world .  Wow writing all this tired me out I'm going to rest and take my meds, bye journal!

Hajime's P.O.V 

ARGHHHH THIS IS SO NERVE WRACKING! I know it shouldn't be since I have visited Nagito in the hospital multiple times but it's always weird because it's so cold and smells weird . 

This place is just really depressing but now I have more respect for Mikan she must be used to the atmosphere by now..speaking of her there she is.

 "H-hello Hajime a-a-are you here for k-k-komaeda?"

 "Yeah."  Shouldn't that be pretty obvious? 

"O-okay he's at the top floor room 3-E,"

 "Thank you, " I smiled trying to make her less nervous.

 "Y-you're w-welcome." She squeaked and ran away. 

"Well that didn't work." I say to myself as I am about to walk into the elevator I see a gift shop and think maybe I should get Komaeda something.

As I step in to the store I see these pale pink almost white flowers and think he would like these since they kinda remind me of the ends of his hair. I pay for them and finally start the long elevator ride. Luckily there was no one in with me because that always felt awkward to me for some reason or another. 

The door opens and I walk down a long white washed hallway, find the door that says E-3 and walk in to see komaeda laying asleep. He doesn't look peaceful exactly but he doesn't look as sad as he does when awake lately.

 It makes me remember when we were just kids,before he got cancer , we would play in the grass then we would lay down in the grass which ended up with him falling asleep in my lap and looking so calm and happy. I snap back to reality,set down the flowers and decide to wait for him to wake up instead of waking him up myself. 

I start texting Chiaki to waste time when I see sleeping beauty start to stir from his slumber. "Oh hi Hinata-Kun I hope a piece of trash like me didn't keep you waiting too long!"

To be continued dun DuN DUN( Is this good? I was just bored and listening to the Tøp cover of cancer and got inspired lol)

☆please vote if I should continue☆