I was left behind, it was a simple as that. I was an afterthought, an episode of where are they now? I may be overly dramatic, but that is just in my nature. I will express freely and completely openly how I feel. Looking at his twitter feed being blown up by countless girls claiming to love him, and be in love with him and wanting his babies. I sit here in my work clothes debating if I should cry or scream. That’s when I see it, the latest tweet. I feel myself being pulled towards him.
ColsonTucker @ColsonOfficial
three years, it feels like forever. Time must be measured in distance.
BiancaBianca@BiancaBelova
Sometimes I wish things worked out differently but here we are, I mean here I am.
He doesn’t follow me, he never has, and truth is I got this just to keep tabs on him, it breaks my heart every time I see it, but I deserve it. I drove him away. Is that true? Did I really drive him to his dreams? If I did is that a bad thing? He can’t possibly be like ‘oh curse you Bianca Bianca for driving me away from you and my home town to Hollywood and fame and fortune! I will never forgive you?’ I’d forgive me. In fact I would thank myself, but he probably hates me. As much as he did the day I told him. He probably still resent me. I still do, it’s been three years but I don’t think this is something you get over that quickly, I mean realistically I haven’t I’m still here. I’m still here.
“I love Christmas time!” Sylvia my close friend and co-worker said to me as we closed up the store for the night. I rolled my eyes as I pulled the gates closed. “You can’t say you hate Christmas!” She sad smacking me on the back side “I don’t hate Christmas; I resent it.” She looked at me sternly before dismissing my comment and continuing closing. “Let’s get a drink once where down London Arms will be open. “You know I can’t say no to drinks and you my love!” Sylvia laughs.
10:10 and we had finally picked our chairs at the bar. “So tell me how the love life is!” “You know vie barely dated at all!” I yell over the music “Phillip for one, Beau that’s two, Cameron that’s three, and Kenneth and that makes four!” she says taking a sip of her long island ice tea. “Sylvia don’t make me count your kills!” “Feel free id be impressed if you remember their names I don’t; oh but I do hope it includes that one!” I swivel in my chair to see a blonde and bronze god sitting in a booth with his friends I look back at my friend who has gone all bedroom eyes on me. “Well you go talk imam go for a smoke.” And check my twitter feed.
I had barely gotten out of the bar before I had my phone in my hand and my app was open.
ColsonTucker @ColsonOfficial
I walk a lonely road the only road tht I have ever known – where are you
BiancaBianca@BiancaBelova
I’m the one, I’ve been here for you all along……….
Why do I do this? I see his tweet I want to call and talk to him and tell him I’m here I’ve been here and ill always be here. I make me way back to the bar and Sylvia’s face drops as I walk back in. But she gets this huge grin on her face and I walk towards her she stand up and waves like a mad man and engulfs me in a hug before I have a chance to say anything she whispers ‘stop it forget it its over’ sits back down pulling me with her and playing with my hair. “BB this is Dillon, Brandon and Richard and they are currently in talks with the Blue Jays” she says looking at them as they smile in agreeance “oh that’s nice: I have to pee” as I slip out of thebooth and walk over to the front door as Sylvie gives me a look, I think before I could respond her head is turned and she’s busy laughing at their jokes.
I reach my car as I hear my phone go off, has updated his twitter again, I so badly don’t want to care what he has to say, I just want to be able to not need to know what has doing and thinking. But here I am Saturday night out with my friend and I’m heading home to be alone, with my sofa and TV. I pull out my phone, I need to.
ColsonTucker @ColsonOfficial
I’ve been here for you all along I’m the one who's shoulder you've been crying on
I’m the one who wants you more than anything you don't feel the same way you made it clear to me
but I’ll stand my ground and maybe you'll hear what I’ve been saying after all I’ve said and all I’ve done
I’m the one
