House of Hades (completed)

Nico

Staring into space. What was space, really? Was it a dimension? What were all the demensions? Was time a dimension? If so, how thick was time? How wide and how long or short was time? And how could we travel through it?

What is life? Tragedy, comedy, thriller... What is the meaning of life? Why do humans exist? What are-

"NICO DI ANGELO!" Yelled Hazel. "We have been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes! Are you okay? You look kind of pale. But then again you're always pale, I mean your dad is the god of..."

Nico stared blankly.

"Nico! Answer me!!"

"No." Nico stood and walked toward his bunk. Hazel clenched her teeth and tried to get up, but Jason stopped her.

"You'll just make it worse," he said, indicating her injured hand and twisted ankle. Hazel sighed and sat back in her chair.

Meanwhile, Nico ran toward his bunk, fighting tears. First Percy and Annabeth. Then Piper and Leo. Who was next? Without Leo, Nico was officially the odd one on the ship. Hazel and Jason had each other to comfort. Nico had nobody.

He understood Jason's pain and marveled at the fact that he was staying strong through all of this. Forget about fighting Gaea and her minions. It wouldn't be a knife that killed Nico. It would be depression.

He couldn't let anyone in, not after Bianca. She was his only true friend and then she faded away. Percy... He was something. Nico just didn't know quite yet what.

He entered his room and shuffled towards his bed. Lighting a candle with the scent of the sea, Nico reached under his bed and pulled out a heavy leather briefcase. From a chain on his belt he took a skull-shaped key and entered it into the lock on the briefcase. He heard a click and opened it to reveal his PAAPM, or Private Annabeth and Percy Memorial.

The others still had hope but to Nico they were as good as dead.

Nico pulled out a small teddy bear holding a staff with a skull on it that Percy had given to him for his birthday. Wrapping himself in an owl-embroidered blanket, he closed his eyes and let the tears fall.

He wept for the time that he had first met Percy. He wept for the time that he made Percy promise to protect Bianca. He wept for when Annabeth bid him goodbye. He wept for when Percy came back with the news. And he wept for the time when he discovered his true feelings.

Nico had never really liked girls. All the prissiness, the dresses, the makeup, the hormones... No, Nico really only liked Bianca and Annabeth. But he enjoyed spending time with boys. He had assumed that it was because he was a kid, and when kids were little, they were taught that boys play with boys and girls play with girls. But it was more than that.

Much more.

Nico Di Angelo was gay.

~*~*~

As Nico trudged toward Mess Hall, he wondered why he even bothered going to supper. It's not like he would actually eat anything.

There was no need for food. If Annabeth, Percy, Piper, and Leo didn't need food anymore, he didn't either.

As he walked, he pondered what could have happened if Percy hadn't fallen into Tartarus. And maybe... What if Annabeth HAD? Then he would have Percy to himself.

They could grow up together, maybe fall in love, settle down in Rome... No. Nico couldn't afford to think like that.

And anyways, even if Annabeth had fallen and Percy had not, he would probably rather kill himself than go on a gay date. Percy liked girls. And that meant Nico had no chance, even if he were alive.

And that meant he had no will to live.

Nico spun on his heel, racing back to his bunks. He threw open the door and ran to the closet as the first tear leaked down his cheek. He took out a mirror and his razor and settled on his bed.

Nico let the tears fall and his vision became blurry.

Nothing mattered.

Nothing mattered.

Not love, not war

Nothing mattered as long as

Percy was

Dead.

Nico gulped for air and steadied his shaking hand as he went in for the first cut. His arm swam in his eyes, distorted from the tears. Nico's heart wrenched.

He took one last deep breath before swiping the razor on his forearm. He winced, expecting pain, but nothing came. He cut again and again, but he couldn't feel anything.

He had lost all senses.

And as a result he had lost all sense.

He sobbed loudly as the razor striked again and again, until both of his arms were soaked in blood.

Nothing.

He made one last cut and shed one last tear before hearing a scream and blacking out.

(A/N)

please don't kill me

I know I haven't updated in like FOREVSIES but I was going through a really hard period in my life like Nico is now. So I leave for a month or two, comeback, and give you THIS? I know, it sucks. I swear I'll do another one tommorow.

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