The Boy At The Bridge// phan

the bridge.

empty. the cold, worthless crystallised water moves oh so slowly, and looks so empty. so empty it doesn't have a pinch of happiness left in it, it's so lonely. swaying calmly in the wind. it may look calm but on the inside it's empty. i sigh aggressively, looking around me to see if there's anyone to stop me from my first attempt and hopefully my last. i clutch onto the edge of the bridge wall, closing my eyes. am i really ending it all now? i'm such a coward, backing away and just ending it because i think that will take the pain away. the wind swirls around my red tinted freezing ears in beautiful patterns as i hear the pitter patter of footsteps behind me. i hesitate, trying to make up my mind whether i should turn around or not. i slowly swivel my legs around and touch the ground with my feet, turning my body 90 degrees to face the figure standing 10 metres in front of me.

its strange. to him, i'm like a speck of dust and all he can focus on is what he is doing, he doesn't even notice i'm here, standing at the other end of the copper bridge. i focus my eyes on the boy, watching his every move. he seemed so delegate, like a dancing ballerina in a shiny dance studio, wearing the most beautiful clothes you could ever imagine. i watch as he puts one leg after the other over the bridge. i get a tingly-butterfly feeling, a feeling of distress, and discomfort. i don't know why. i find myself slowly walking towards him without even knowing it.

"Excuse me?" I speak softly, trying not to scare him and wanting to give a friendly impression. I can't see his face, just his jet black hair and vampire-like skin on the back of his neck. he's wearing a burgundy beanie with beautiful white writing saying "wonder". he breathes.
"Hello" he replies quietly and calmly, but i can tell in his voice he's at the edge of crying. I move a little closer, my heart rate beating faster and faster. i think he can sense i'm moving closer, despite my failed attempt at being quiet when i walk.
"I know why you're here, we came for the same reason" I say, putting both my legs over the bridge and sitting not too close but not too far away from him. he breathes heavier, looking over at me. my heart feels like it's about to explode out of my chest. i stare into his tardis-like eyes, dreaming of a better place than here, dreaming of everything that makes me smile and others smile too. his cheekbones stick out so well, it's like he's a ken doll made to look beautiful.

after about thirty seconds of staring at this boys face i hesitate and realise what i'm doing.
"I'm sorry, i just got lost in your eyes" I say, feeling really dumb after saying that. i hear a little chuckle come from out of his mouth though, so i don't really think he minds.
"Why are you here? And how do you know we're here for the same reason?" He asks me,
looking down at his hands as he fiddles with them awkwardly. i sigh quietly, feeling a little weird talking about it to somebody i don't even know.
"Well, i'm just assuming you're here to take your life, like i am, correct?" I ask, the tingly feeling coming back. it's almost like that feeling  that if i don't save this person, my future is going to be so different and this person is so important to me. i see him nod out of the corner of my eye, just before i look at him and feel my eyes fill up with tears. i make sure i look away and wipe them away before i look back at him again.

"Are you crying?" He asks, looking really concerned about me and sighing a little. i shake my head, saying the word 'no' so quietly not even i can hear it, but i think he gets what i'm trying to say. we sit in silence for a little while, looking around at the mist and fog that floods the sky with its dull and eeriness. 
"You should leave, i don't want you t-" he begins, but i decide to cut him short as i know exactly what he's going to say.
"-please dont." he looks at me in a shocked way, opening his mouth slightly but closing it soon enough when he realises i'm crying before i even do. 
"you don't even know me, why am i important to you right now, why is my life important to you" he asks me. i try to think about how i could answer this, because honestly if i didn't have that tingly feeling i would have let him jump and probably would have jumped myself too.

"Sir, i may not know you but something is telling me that you're important and you can't die today, please" i beg him, despite it sounding incredibly stupid and that i have a mental disorder or something. (IM NOT MAKING FUN OF MENTAL DISORDERS THIS IS JUST WHAT I DECIDED TO PUT DONT KILL ME)
"That makes no sense, now move out the way, i don't want you to see me die" he pushes me a little to the side and i feel my eyes widen and my throat fill up with masses of anxiety. my anxiety has never been this bad before.
"I-I." i breathe heavily, panicking. he notices right away and looks really concerned for me. he puts his legs over and stands back on the bridge, picking me up and running to his car with me in his arms.