Normal

Today I join School.

School is Normal.

Being Normal.

Me being Normal.

I want to be Normal. Yes. I do. I see Sister everyday, going to school.

She told me School is terrible. An everyday torture. She said I would Hate it.

I Hate very few things. School is new, School is Normal. I don't want to Hate School.

That would mean I Hate Normal, and to Hate Normal means--

Leave it. All this thinking makes my head hurt. Sister says that I shouldn't strain my brain, as my intelligence is low enough. She says that if I strain it too much, I wont be Normal. I want to be Normal.

I do. Believe me.

-x-

Today was the first day of school. Everybody was curious about me.

I felt exposed. Vulnerable. Like a Freak.

I couldn't ask half the questions Teacher asked me. Everyone laughed. Did that mean I made a Joke? Jokes are Normal. It is Normal to laugh at a Joke, so I laughed too. This made them laugh harder.

I don't think that was Normal.

Sister said that she was dying of embarrassment. I don't want Sister to die. So I won't make Jokes anymore.

-x-

Not making Jokes is easier said than done. (That's a new phrase I learnt from Sister. When Mother asked her why she didn't help me in class, She said it was easier said than done.)

For some reason my Classmates laugh whenever they see me. I had no idea that Jokes last so long.

Their laughter was not Funny. In fact, I have the feeling that they were mocking me--

I should really stop thinking so much. Sister says that I need all the brainpower I can get. I should really stop wasting it on such Freak-like thoughts.

After all, I want to be Normal.

-x-

Today I tried to make Friends. Sister suggested it.

There are 3 simple steps to the Plan, said Sister.

First, sneak up and scare them. (I was not sure about this, but Sister assured me that it is vital)

Second, start a conversation about how they made mistakes in class. (I would not like it if someone came up to me and pointed out my flaws, but maybe this was the Normal thing to do...)

Third, act as stupid as you can. (Sister said the last step should be a piece of cake for me. When I told Sister I had no baking experience, she said that I was a natural, and I shouldn't worry.)

However, when I implemented the Plan, people started to avoid me.

I asked Sister what I was doing wrong. She said that this response was not Normal.

I am Worried.

I want to be Normal. You need Friends to be Normal. I hope I manage to find a Friend tomorrow.

-x-

I did something Bad today. Something Very Bad.

I disobeyed the Plan. I doubted Sister.

Instead of following the Plan that Sister spent so much effort creating, I approached a person, without scaring them. I had a conversation, without mentioning how they messed up recently. I didn't act stupid.