awake | jungkook

8. "Stop me"

Everything went downhill after Jungkook had simply left. For four weeks he had just disappeared and the path to the old library, which I had always known by heart, I simply couldn't find it anymore.
The sleepless nights were seriously not good for my health. Every night those voices in my head, which I couldn't figure out where they came from, told me to do bad things. Very bad things. Things I didn't want to do and it was so hard to fight against it.
I started crying in the middle of the nights and I knew something was wrong when I started crying during a lecture.

My roommates wanted to help me, cheer me up. They told me those things were normal going through a heartbreak. If I only had known how bad love hurts I would have never fallen in love with Jungkook.
I hated him but I needed him.

People were trying to talk to me but I blocked them all. It was a hot Thursday in the end of June as I was strolling through the library. I felt scared walking through the bookshelves. I was scared someone would come to me and talk to me. With my blue dress I kept on walking and walking and walking through the library, when I was suddenly stopped by a hand grabbing my shoulder.

"What's up, are you okay?", I recognised Hoseok's voice.

Without thinking I just turned around and slapped him. Immediately he stroked his cheek, his mouth wide open. Shocked at what I had done, I took a step back.

"That's right, you deserve it!", Veronica walked up behind me, looking furious.

I rose my eyebrows staring at her in confusion.

"What?", Hoseok gasped.

Not wanting to be with them I walked away, but I still could clearly hear Veronica yelling:"Can't you see what you've done to her? Breaking her heart like that, you're such an asshole!"

In one of those many sleepless nights I decided to go outside for a walk. The air was warm and I enjoyed the smell of this summer night. For a very short second I felt free when I suddenly found myself standing in front of the forest. Confused at what I was seeing I stepped closer. There was a building, I had seen light coming from a window. My feet started running and my breathing got unsteady. Tears were forming in my eyes when I finally stood in front of the old library again. Exhausted I looked around, finding every tree on its usual spot. Why wasn't I able to find it in the past weeks?

With quick steps I ran upstairs. With shaky fingers I ringed the bell, desperately hoping for Jungkook to open the door. Steps were coming closer from inside and I felt my head starting to spin. Sweat formed on my forehead when finally the door was opened.

In his black shirt and tight ripped jeans he stood in front of me, Jungkook. He hadn't changed at all. He still wore his hair the same way and his eyes still had the same spark.

In a matter of seconds his arms were wrapped tightly around me and I couldn't prevent myself from sobbing. We were hugging for what felt like ages and I simply couldn't calm down. Softly he caressed my back.

"Don't cry.", he whined, hugging me even tighter, "I'm so sorry."

After a few more moments I was finally able to speak. I took a step back with his arms still around me as I stared into his eyes.

"Where have you been?", I whispered, my voice still extremely exhausted.

"I wish I could tell you.", he replied sadly making me confused.

"What do you mean?"

He took my head and took me inside. With heavy steps I followed him. As I was walking behind him I noticed that he had changed the furniture. The hall wasn't empty anymore but instead he had built a little home. Our steps were echoing through the hall.
With a nod he showed me to sit down on the sofa. I obeyed him, watching him walk up and down.