The Ridonculous Race (My Crossover Version)

None Down, 18 to Go - Part 1

(Author's Note: Okay before I start off, I have to say that I managed to find a transcript on the Total Drama wiki, courtesy of user Rainbowderp01, who is in the progress of writing transcripts for every episode of the Total Drama franchise. I say this because I do media crossover recasts best with a script of sorts, and without this, I would still be looking for just ONE transcript. Well, 1 found, 25 to go look for. Hooray. Rainbowderp01, if you're reading this, thank you for indirectly helping this cause.  And to everyone else, enjoy!)
(The setting is Toronto, Canada)
Maxie (voice): This is Toronto, the capital of North America, birthplace of funk, where the Albino Panther roams free.
(Panther roars)
Maxie: Beneath my manly-sized 13 rogues, 18 teams are arriving at this historic train station to embark on a race around the world. I'm your host, Maxie, and this is... THE RIDONCULOUS RACE!
(He smiles at the audience causing a flash into the camera, starting the intro)

(Author's Note: I might not do this every episode, just now)
(Toronto Train Station)
Maxie: Welcome to the Ridonculous Race. Right now, 18 teams from across the multiverse are readying themselves to embark on a race to the death! (Is told something on his earpiece) Not to the death? Okay. Let's meet the teams that (😉) aren't racing to the death.
(Cut to a red-haired boy wearing a striped shirt reading a book while a raven-haired girl with a pink bow in her hair with a matching pink dress stares at him lovingly and adorably)
Maxie (voice): Phineas and Isabella, Best Friends...
(Team Interview: Best Friends)
Isabella: I met Phineas in summer school, and we haven't spent a day apart since! If anyone can win this race, it's us! (starts to stare at Phineas adoringly as she did before on the train)
Phineas: Yeah, I know Isabella so well, it's like we're... (notices Isabella's staring) uh... w-what are you doing?
Isabella: (realizes) Hm? Oh! Uh... blink check! For the camera! (giggles) Whoo! Race!
(Cut to a blonde woman putting on lipstick and her teenage daughter filing her nails)
Maxie (voice): Rita and Lori, Mom and Daughter...
(Team Interview: Mom and Daughter)
Lori: So, A: I'm literally really hot, obviously. And B: I'm pretty much the best at everything I do. So unless my mom messes things up, we're totally gonna win this race. (starts texting someone)
Rita: Lori and her friends love when I hang with them. I'm known as the 'cool mom'. (giggles) We're so tight, people always mistake us for sisters!
Lori: (stops texting) Wait, what?
(Cut to a turquoise-haired girl taking selfies while her blue-haired younger sister is making sure everything is in place, and as she notices the phone, she takes it away so her sister can focus)
Maxie (voice): Carrie and Mina, Actual Sisters...
(Team Interview: Sisters)
Carrie: I'm studying international law, so that's gonna give us a real edge. Which is good, because we're here to win.
Mina: And to see the world, meet hot guys, and have some fun--
Carrie: If there's time for that, which there won't be, so let's just focus on winning, okay? (Mina groans, annoyed) Good.
(Cut to a hooded girl with pale skin sitting next to a boy with spiky black hair. Both are wearing a lot of black, which isn't a bad thing.)
Maxie (voice): Raven and Shadow, Two teens with an exceptional amount of black on their person. (Lightning flashes as we get a face-shot of them) Okay, that's just unnerving.
(Cut to a smiling purple cat... bear-rabbit thing and a young adult inventor with a look that says, "I really wish I weren't here right now," not literally.)
Maxie (voice): Chowder and Varian, Seasoned Reality TV Participants...
Chowder: Yeah! Whoo! (Raises his hand, hoping for a high five, which Varian doesn't give to him) Don't leave me hanging!
(Team Interview: Reality TV Pros)
Chowder: Varian and I met on Total Drama, and we've been on tons of reality shows since then, like Meltdown Kitchen, and Scare Tractor, and Fashionista Flip-Flop...
Varian: Don't know how he got on that one.
Chowder: (laughs) I'm just so psyched to be reunited with my little buddy! C'mere! (He hugs Varian VERY tightly)
(Cut to a pair of Toads, one yellow, one blue. The blue Toad adjusts his hat while the yellow Toad takes out and breathes into his inhaler)
Maxie (voice): Blue and Yellow, Nearly identical Toad brothers who are used to overcoming adversity.
(As if on cue, a bunch of luggage falls onto them)
(Team Interview: Adversity Toads)
Blue: We've both been through a lot, but we're not cursed. Whatever's right before cursed, (chuckles) that's us.
Yellow: Like, when I was 6, I fell into a Swoop's nest and one of the baby Swoops flew into my ear. To this day, everything on this side sounds like... (makes bat noises, then fiddles with his ear)
Blue: We're constantly fighting adversity, and... overcoming it.
Yellow: I'm sorry, we gotta switch sides. You're just... (makes bat noises)
(Cut to a red-haired woman pointing out the train window and her blue-haired boyfriend enjoying the sight with her)
Maxie (voice): The Totally-in-Love Daters, Sully and Ike...
(Team Interview: Daters)
Ike: Sully and I met at an Ylissean dojo 2 months and 6 days ago, and we've been going steady ever since!
Sully: We're so excited! Neither of us have traveled in a while! There's so much to discover, like, what do chocolate Vulenaries taste like in China?
Ike: I was just wondering that!
Sully: No way! (They make out. D'awwww!)
(Cut to a pink-haired woman and a purple-haired man leaping out of the train and waving. They both have a Team Rocket uniform on.)
Maxie (voice): Jessie and James, Ice Dancing Team Rocket Admins...
(Team Interview: Rocket Admins)
James: We know how to win! We won gold everywhere!
Jessie: Except the Olympics: he dropped me, so we only got silver.
James: AGH! I don't want to talk about it! (Runs off)
Jessie: James! Silver is his least favorite color.
(Cut to two blond ducks, the one dressed in blue taller than the ball-shaped one dressed in red, just outside the train)
Maxie (voice): Swaysway and Buhdeuce, Lifelong Friends and Breadwinners...
Swaysway: (laughs) Going around the world on someone else's dime! Sweet! Hey, Hina! (Chuckles) Love you, babe!
(Team Interview: Breadwinners)
Swaysway: My girl and I did Total Drama, but she's surfing her way around Australia right now! So boom! Entree: my bap Buhdeuce!
Buhdeuce: Yeah, guy! Bros forever! (They do a double fist-bump) S and B for the W-I-N!
(Cut to the previously revealed teams coming towards the starting line)
Maxie: Right this way, teams! Over here!
(Cut to a smiling man with black hair, walking with a annoyed-looking boy wearing a white hat with brown hair poking out)
Maxie (voice): Also competing, Norman and Brendan, Father and Son...
(Team Interview: Father and Son)
Norman: Oh, I spend a lot of time at the old gym there, so this race is a perfect choice for Brendan and I to squeeze in a little father-son bonding time. Right, budo?
Brendan: (unsure) Uh, yeah... sure Dad. Hey, are there any kids my age in this thing?
Norman: Oh! Uh...
(Cut to a tall blonde woman in a blue full-body suit scaling down a building, while a humanoid fish hybrid woman crashes through a window and they start running toward the starting line)
Maxie (voice): Samus and Undyne, Ambitious Bounty Hunters...
(Team Interview: Bounty Hunters)
Undyne: We're tough as nails, and we'll go to the extreme to win this thing!
Samus: Definitely, as long as we don't break any international laws.
Undyne: I'm okay with breaking a few. (Samus looks at the camera nervously)
(Cut to a tall man in a purple plumber uniform tackling a shorter fatter man in a yellow plumber uniform)
Maxie (voice): Wario and Waluigi, Prankster Brothers...
(Team Interview: Prankster Bros.)
Waluigi: We used to get along, but after Queen Rotunda (makes quotations) "adopted us" last year, we slowly started to hate each other, so she's making us do this! Jerk!
Wario: (gets angry) Don't call our new mom a jerk, (shoves Waluigi) jerk!
Waluigi: (gets up) Shut your word hole, (shoves Wario) jerk!
(Wario tackles Waluigi again)
(Cut to a tall, brown-skinned male with blond hair wearing a sweater-vest (or is it a waistcoat?) walking/strutting with a white-skinned female with blonde hair also, wearing a very fashionable dress and heels)
Maxie (voice): Also racing, Trenderhoof AKA "Trend" and Elesa, Highly Attractive Fashion Bloggers with Impeccable Taste. (talks to his agent) I told you not to let the teams write their own cards.
(Team Interview: Fashion Bloggers)
Elesa: Hey-hey to all our blog followers out there!  Wish us luck!
Trend: I bet Elesa we would win the race, (Me: (raises Doom Flag with a troll face as buildup)) but I didn't think she'd actually take me up on it.
Elesa: I put my mind to something and it (snaps her fingers) happens!
(Cut to a boy with black hair, glasses, and a tuxedo shirt, playing air keytar, with a fatter boy looking nearly identical to him, minus the glasses, with a shirt with a black flame that has the letters "GB" in it, making "rock out" symbols and bobbing his head)
Maxie (voice): Kin and Kon, the Rockers...
(Team Interview: Rockers)
Kin: Kon wasn't sure about doing this, because he's not super-fit, or good at much of anything, except rocking out! (makes guitar sounds) So I said, "You just rock, bro!  I'll carry you!" (makes guitar sounds again as Kon bobs his head)
(Cut to a tan girl with light orange hair releasing a butterfly as a girl with light red hair wearing an orange floral-patterned bandanna and a heart-tree necklace stops some cars)
Maxie (voice): Treehugger and Tikal, Granola-Loving, Hippie-Dippie Friends...
(Team Interview: Vegans)
Treehugger: We want to win so we can donate to our favorite charities: Save the Hunchback Walrus, Goat Milk Eco-Warriors, People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants, so many great causes!
(Cut to two red-haired girls with nearly identical outfits getting off a bus)
Maxie (voice): Susan and Mary, Scientific Genius Sisters who say they will use their winnings to support the science community...
(Team Interview: Genius Twins)
Susan: Astrophysics research is underfunded, reality shows offer monetary prizes, conundrum solved.
(Cut to a blond boy in a green tunic and a blonde girl in a princess dress, drinking smoothies)
Maxie (voice): Link and Zelda, Dedicated Live-Action Role-Players... whatever that is.
(Team Interview: LARPers)
Link: Pahkitew Island was tough, but with Zelda's new spells, huzzah! We shall claim the dragon's eye! That's Dwarvish for 1,000,000.
Zelda: (plays her ocarina)
(Cut to two men, one with black hair wearing an orange loincloth, and the other with blond hair wearing a brown loincloth)
Maxie (voice): And Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, Retired Pro Bowling Champs and Stone Age Friendly Rivals.
(Team Interview: Stone Age Pals)
Barney: We're both very competitive, but for half a mil each? Game on! (the two laugh)
Fred: Maybe we can get some new sponsorships. Anyone need a pitchman for senior's laxatives...
Both: Call his agent! (they laugh)
(Cut to all the teams standing beside Maxie)
Maxie: Welcome, contestants! This is the starting line for your 26 part race around the world. Each part ends at a "Chill Zone." Get there fast, because the last team to stand on the "Carpet of Completion" may be cut from the competition.
(The contestants begin to frown and show worried faces upon hearing this news)
Maxie: But the first team to reach our last Chill Zone will win $1,000,000!
(This news causes the contestants to cheer in excitement)
Maxie: Look over here.
(The contestants shift their attention to Maxie who now stands by a miniature replica of him with a red button on top)
Maxie: This is our Ridonculous tip box, also known as "The Maxie Box." Press this button to get your tips that will lead you through the Ridonculous Race around the world. Ready, teams? On your marks... get set...
(All the teams get ready to start)
Maxie: RACE!
(The teams race toward him)
Maxie: Watch the glasses! Not the hair!
(They trample him as he screams)
(Teams begin to reach the first Maxie Box and press the button. A tip comes out from the mouth of the Maxie Box)
Swaysway: "Race on foot to the CN tower..." (he and Buhdeuce run)
Norman: "And find the Maxie Box to get your next tip." (he and Brendan run)
(Norman + Brendan, Swaysway + Buhdeuce, and James + Jessie are running to the next Maxie Box)
Brendan: There's the tower!
James: And here comes the competition!
Norman: Huh, where? (He turns around, trips and hits a garbage can that hits Jessie and James) Whoa! Oh! My bad.
(The Breadwinners stop to check on the Rocket Admins)
Swaysway: Whoa, nasty! Are you guys alright?
(Jessie and James lift the trash can off of them and keep on running)
Swaysway: Whoa! Rad! (The trash can lands on him and Buhdeuce) Go!
(CN Tower; Some of the teams reach the base where the Maxie Box is located)
Norman: There's the Maxie Box! (He presses the button)
Brendan: (reads the tip) It's an "either-or." What's an "either-or?"
(The Breadwinners, still in the trash can, run until they crash into a pole)
(Inside the Tower)
Maxie: An "either-or" gives teams the choice of 2 challenges; They either climb 144 flights of stairs to reach the world's tallest observation deck, that's just under 1,000,000,000 stairs, or Scares: Take the elevator, and get the scare of a lifetime by doing a skywalk all the way around the outside of the tower. Not to worry though, they'll be wearing helmets, and as an extra precaution, we had a safety rail installed.
(The rail falls halfway)
Maxie: Teams must finish either task, and find this local guide for their next tip.
(The guide is lying on a bed)
(Outside the Tower)
Samus: 144 flights of stairs? (Scoffs) We'll do Scares.
Trend: Scares.
Wario: (fighting with Waluigi for the tip) Scares! (Lets go, causing Waluigi to fall) Called it.
Blue: (nervously) Stairs.
(Team Interview: Adversity Toads)
Yellow: Blue gets nosebleeds when he goes up too high too fast. Makes it pretty to take flights or, you know, go up really tall towers. (Takes the tip)
Blue: GAHHH! Paper-cut!
(Inside the Tower elevator; Norman + Brendan get in)
Norman: First in! Alright! Way to go, Brendan! Gimme a high-five!
(Brendan dodges, causing Norman to hit all the buttons)
Norman: (chuckles sheepishly) Whoops...
(Team Interview: Father and Son)
Norman: For a skinny tower, there sure are a lot of floors.
(Brendan heads for the stairs, followed by Norman whistling nonchalantly as Swaysway + Buhdeuce, Waluigi + Wario, Sully + Ike, Trend + Elesa, Samus + Undyne, and James + Jessie run in and notice what just happened)
Swaysway: Hey, who pushed all the buttons?
Undyne: Gotta take the stairs.
(All the contestants run to the stairs except Trend + Elesa and Samus)
Samus: Or we could just wait.
Undyne (voice): HUSTLE!
(Samus runs to the stairs)
Elesa: Meh, this will probably still be faster.
(The elevator closes)
(Cut to Norman + Brendan and Yellow + Blue climbing the stairs)
Norman: If anyone asks, we chose stairs. Always stairs.
Maxie (voice): While Father and Son and the Adversity Toads commit to climbing the infinite amount of stairs, the other teams choose Scares, but they're in for a long wait.
(The camera shows inside the elevator where Trend and Elesa are stopping on each floor. They stop on one that has a janitor wearing overalls)
Elesa: Hey-hey, fashion-blog-followers. We would like to talk about today's fashion faux-pas. Which is...
Trend: Overalls! Ewww! Nasty!
(The janitor notices and growls)
Elesa: I know right! Like, get with today!
(The Fashion Bloggers exit the elevator at the Observation Deck, Trend has a mop on his head, Elesa has a bucket on hers)
Elesa: I don't see any other teams. We're in first place! (Squeals)
Trend: Let's hit the skywalk and strut all the way to the winner's circle!
(They casually walk by the local guide, who points them in the right direction)
Elesa: We are SO the team to beat! (notices the skywalk) We have to walk... OUT HERE?!
Maxie (voice): Oh, yes you do. The Ridonculous Race will return!
(Commercial break!)