Behind the scenes

Back to work

LANAS POV. 

in the car on my way to work I am feeling so terrible, I cant believe that we had to end things this way right before I left, and the fact that the boys also know something is wrong now kills me. I guess now Fred and I are going to have to lie to them, or tell them some of it but not the whole truth. Looking out my car window I see a man and a pregnant woman holding hands walking on the side of the road, they look happy, its just them in this happy moment together, no problems, no fights, I miss when Fred and I was like that, when we just looked at one another with so much love and passion. It also brings me back to when Fred and I talked about getting pregnant. I remember that day so clearly like it was yesterday, I remember the cold floor in my hospital room, and the terrible pain, so much pain. The moment passes and a single tear rolls down my cheek, I have to look away as I wipe my tears off rather harshly. Just think about something else, think about your family and friends, I already have so much to be grateful for. In that moment I see a feather flying by just out of reach, its a beautiful sign really, I love how it always brings me hope. I remember the first time I saw one, I had struggled so much after the loss of my dad, I kept away from everyone that wanted to help me, thinking I could do everything on my own, but I was wrong, and as I reached my boiling point, I had asked for a sign one day, and there it was, my feather, my symbol of hope that things would get better. And now it has become a symbol for so many people, and I love that, it brings a smile to my face, and my Evilregals how I love them. 

(ding) 

I look down on my phone to see a message from Sean 

"hey I just wanted to tell you that I am not coming to work today, so our scenes have been pushed to another day, some stuff came up at home, dont be mad please!! I forgot to tell you. love Sean"

  I huff and then look up from my phone to see that we have arrived, I can see the buildings of our beloved set coming closer, my driver is about ready to stop the car. I text him back 

"Hey..thats okay, its good actually, gives me more time to practice the script. have a nice day. love Lana" 

I put the phone back in my jacket and open the door, once I have stepped out I Realize my purse is still in the car so I turn around to get it, I find my purse seated on the car seat, I pick it up and then I step back out, once I am out I slam the door shut and the car drives away. now I just need to find my ID card for the gate, I am looking through my purse to find it when suddenly someone slams into my back holding onto me from behind. I get scared and start pushing this person whoever it might be away from me, when I turn around with my hands up in defense, I am faced towards a very familiar person and my body instantly relaxes upon the sight before me,  my scary face is replaced with a huge smile. Its Jared, how could I not know that it was him, he always does that, he likes to prank everyone, especially me. 

"Jared, YOU ARE THE MOST SNEAKY PERSON EVER!!" 

I grab him and pull him into my arms for a tight hug, he holds on just as tightly, god how I have missed him. Is he wearing a new perfume?, he smells different, is he bigger too? his frame feels bigger in my arms than I remember.  

"gosh you get bigger every time I see you..stop growing" 

I pull away from him and he looks at me with a smile. 

" I am afraid I cant"

 he says while he laughs. I fake disappointment as I say 

"thats to bad..soon you will be too big for these hugs then"

 He pouts and pulls me in his arms again and holds on tightly 

"never"

 he says, I laugh and put my hand around his back as we walk towards the gate.