Wednesday October 26, 2016
So the last time I was on here was like 2 years ago 😹 and a lot has changed but at the same time it seems like I'm repeating history. I have a new girlfriend and we live together. We've been together for a year and almost 5 months. Everything was going alright until we hit that 10 month mark. (I guess 10 months is an unlucky time for me) This whole time we just decided to ice out everyone that we were going to school because it just made things easier as far as being able to stay IN school.
After we got out I started getting really lonely and I realized that all of my friends weren't really my friends. They were my girlfriend's friends that just talked to me when they wanted to find her or because I was around. So I made a MeetMe. For those of you who don't know what a MeetMe is, it is a meet website that is mostly used for dating. I wasn't on there for that reason though. I was on there to meet new people in my city so I can AT LEAST have a friend or two to talk to. My girlfriend didn't like that, which I totally understand why, and asked me to delete it. I did as she asked me to do but later on she pretty much told me that I wasn't allowed to have friends. That's when it started going downhill.
We started getting into more fights and having bigger and bigger arguments. Then one day it turned physical. I didn't want it to, it just did. When we talked it out later on she said that I choked her and that's why she hit me back. I don't remember hitting her at all but apparently she does. Anyway we talked it out, like I said, and resolved everything and went back to normal. For about three days.
We fought again on New Years' Eve. She was drunk and she kept going away from and was hiding in a closet with her "friend". I didn't like that (and I don't think anyone else really would either) so I opened that door and told her to get out. For some reason she was mad at me and told me "no, get the f*** away from me" so I, trying to stay calm cause she's never talked to me like that before, asked her again. "Can you please come out here". That's when she rolled her eyes at me and slammed the door in my face. I just walk away and go to my room.
After she's done talking to her friend, she comes up to my room (still drunk) and wakes me up out of my sleep. She starts yelling, asking "what did you think we were doing in there?" "Do you think I was cheating on you" and a bunch of other questions I can't really remember. I just kept telling her no and was trying to go back to sleep. She got mad that I wasn't looking at her and asked me to sit up so we can talk. So I sat up while she stayed standing and we pretty much got into an argument. When I kept telling her "no I don't think you were cheating" she decided to punch me in my chest. Then got in my face and yelled "don't lie to me". I wasn't lying.
A lot of time passed since then and more fights happened. This last fight happened just a month ago. We were arguing (like always) so she decided to go out onto the front porch and talk to the same friend that she was in the closet with and they were planning on walking somewhere. I told her "if you leave, I'm breaking up with you" she rolled her eyes, slammed the door shut, and walked away. With her friend. They got back almost an hour later.
My girlfriend sat right next to me on the couch and started yet ANOTHER argument with me. I told her "it doesn't matter what you do anymore. We're not together" then she hit me. Twice. For breaking up with her. I was pretty much running my mouth saying "go be with that friend since you like them so much". She didn't like that and got in my face (I'm still sitting on the couch and she's standing over me) she just kept saying "you're so big and bad, say it to my face" I just remained calm and said "we're not together" kept repeating it every time she told me to say it to her face. After 4 or 5 times of going back and forth like that, she hit me again and choked me into the couch with my shirt. I've had enough of this, so I get up and hit her back.
I hit her like 3 times in the arm and she goes off. She went to her friend and said she's tired of ME always putting my hands on HER. So she ran back and started fighting me again. I wasn't hitting her back because I don't like hitting her, but she just kept going. I was tired of getting hit by her so I tried to push her off of me and she hit the wall. So she got even more mad and that's when she started choking me against the wall. To the point where I LITERALLY could not breathe. So I tried to walk away and catch my breath and she started punching the back of my head for a good minute. Then stopped and walked away. She was saying something but I couldn't hear it cause my ears were ringing too much. That's when her friend stepped in.
I don't remember all of it. I just remember being put in a choke hold and slammed on the ground. I hit my face on an Xbox. Then we were standing up. (I don't remember anything from the Xbox to standing) I got some punches in at this point but then the friend started hitting me in the back of my head (where my girlfriend already hit) and then I got thrown into the wall and they were punching my head again. And then all I remember after that was being in a different part of the house. I don't remember getting up or walking out or anything really after that. I've had a concussion before so that's probably why I don't remember it but yeah.
Now we're back together and she's happy (I think) but I'm not. I didn't want to get back together with her and still don't want to be with her but I don't know what to do. What if a fight happens again and I don't walk away from it this time. I'm honestly afraid for my life and I'm stuck. Anyone that has any advice to keep someone happy please let me know. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Thanks.
