Letters For Tessie

Letter 7

Dear Tessie,

It’s almost the end of November and we are nearing our exams for our midterms. Carlos and I reviewed more often even using our breaks to study while eating which we never do before. We still did our overnight stay reviewing during the weekends, even during Sundays only until noon as I need to get back home soon as to not worry my folks.

But I don’t want to think about them right now. It might change my priorities and right now, they’re not my priority. Each day I would go home, it was either of the two things: another fight happened or it was all quiet. They would sometimes come a time when they would have an argument for consecutive days about the same thing over and over again. It might be wrong to say this but I’ve grown quite used to it like it wasn’t anything new. Each day, I would see the changes my dad and my grandmother are taking.

But sometimes I can’t just ignore it anymore. All this yelling and fighting, it sickens me. I try to not let it affect me, but how can it not affect me, when the family I’ve known for most of my life argue with each other?

I told this matter to Glen when I slept over his house this week. Apparently, Carlos was sick and had to rest over during the weekends so I had a free weekend off.

“W-wow, I’m out of words man.”

“Who wouldn’t be? I mean I just spectate what happens.”

“How can you just watch them argue like that?” Glen asks me. I grin and look at him, “It’s pointless anyway. Well, at least I know it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve tried many times, telling my grandmother to at least ask nice around Cecielle whenever she visits our house, but I guess she really didn’t like her and would badmouth her in front of my dad. My dad in return would tell her off and again, it just repeats itself over and over. I tried approaching my dad and telling him to be calm about it, but I don’t know, he always gets hyped up whenever it was about that woman.”

“…”

“I hate it. Everything about them just starts to sicken me.”

“H-hey, don’t say it like that. They’re still your family.” Glen is an optimistic person, he would try to see the good in other people but with what I am right now, I don’t think I can see any good in them, or in anything for that matter.

“Family huh?” I wonder when was the last time we acted like a family. It seems so far off and distant that it doesn’t let me remember.

I always wanted to put my family first, Tessie, after that incident I decided that I would do so. But right now, is that the really the best thing I need to do? Even if I put them first, I can’t even get them into the same plain of understanding.

My dad would side with Cecielle, obviously, even if she was in the wrong. I didn’t take my dad for an idiot just because of love, but now it’s the opposite. It soon made me wonder, will I be like this when I find someone to love? If so, I’d rather be alone the rest of my life instead of being an idiot and be blinded with what is wrong and what is right.

I didn’t think that time would come Tessie. I came to like someone. I know you’ve seen me like some of my middle school classmates and I’ve always told you about them like an elementary school kid excited in telling his mother what had happened to him at school. But instead of a mom, I’d tell them to you since you’re my best friend, Tessie.

Where do I start? I guess I should tell it to you now, and not surprise you later on. I met her online. We haven’t meet each other personally as our places are quite far from each other. And yet, I call it love. It sound silly if you think about it, but I really think I did get hit by Cupid’s arrow.

Her name was Wendy Turner, well, at least that what she told me when we talked for the first time. I stumbled upon her account by accident, just a casual turn of events as I would call it. But it wasn’t even love at that time.

It was more of a friendship than it was love. But our communication was only limited to accessing a nearby computer. But, after a few days of talking with each other, I decide to ask for her mailing number expanding our communication not to just the usage of a computer but to our phones as well. She happily went ahead and gave it to me, and so did I, exchanging numbers and receiving our first mail chain in our phones.

Each day I wake up, I would mail her. She would reply back the moment she wakes up and from there it’s like we were in the small chatbox of the computer again, only know we’re mobile and not sitting in one position.

She would sometimes surprise me by calling me at random times, though only when she had the time to do so and if I was available. Even if I had a real shitty day, her voice somehow soothes me out of my bad mood. Truly, she was a sunshine over my rainy days.

I didn’t let Carlos and Earlene in on it. It wasn’t like I was hiding it from it, but I just want to know her first during my personal time. They say that the more you try to hide something, the more it’ll be likely that it’ll get exposed. It was during lunch time when they found out about it, and it was because of my own carelessness. I suddenly had the urge to go to the restroom for a while, and I leave the two there. When I got back, they were smirking and giggling merrily.

“W-what’s up with you guys?” I ask them and they grin at me mischievously.

“Say, plushie, what took you so long?” Carlos says, and my initial reaction was surprise. Why would he call me like that? And besides it was only Wendy who would call me – then it hit me like a speeding bullet.

“You guys… read my messages?!” I only took notice that my phone wasn’t there as I must’ve left it on the table when I was in the restroom earlier.

“Well… we heard your phone ring and we juust couldn’t resist peeking.” Earlene said, justifying her own human curiosity.

“Y-y-you guys…” I sigh deeply, feeling embarrassed. Regrettably, I had to tell them about her, and by telling them, it meant everything as Earlene was the type of person who just loves these kinds of things.

“So… online meeting huh?” Carlos asks, trying to confirm if he heard right.

“Yeah.”

“Do you like her?” Earlene’s question caught me off guard.

“Eh? I… uh… don’t know.”

“Hmm… suspicious.” She didn’t believe me, but at the moment I was telling the truth.

“I’m serious, I still don’t know! Don’t mix in your assumptions with my feelings.”

“I’m not! But sooner or later, you’ll admit to me that you like her.” Earlene declared, as if she was sure about it.

“H-how are you so confident about it?” I ask, doubting her confidence.

“It’s a girl’s instinct. I don’t know exactly but when I say I’m sure, I really am sure.”

We soon went back to class afterwards, with me stuck on Earlene’s last words. Would I eventually fall for Wendy? It wasn’t like I didn’t like her, she had many traits that I know I can work along with but most importantly, I know that she accepts me just the way I am. Even until now, I never did plan on moving on further with my friendship with Wendy.

I was so into what I was thinking that I wasn’t paying attention to the question my professor asked me, and that resulted with me having to do an essay on how not listening will get me into trouble.

But, let me ask you Tessie, do girls have that kind of ability? Was it innate in all girls or to only a select few? Because if you do, it would really scare me if your predictions are that straightforward and accurate.

Love, Tyler