Travel Diaries

Solo

Here's the thing about Solo travel: it's all on you. It's your journey, your planning, your choices and best of all, your speed. For most, that level of solitude and independence is more than enjoyable. For others, it's a chance to be in control of everything to get the most out of the experience. But for me, it was freedom from people. My whole life had been repeated instances of being reminded of how much I had slowed people down, or of all the things people had to miss out on because of me. Every guilt trip I had been forced on, left me perplexed. Why had so many people decided that they had to include me? They could have just gone on their own, or couldn't they? I never asked to be included. This freedom from judgment was the greatest gift life could have given me. The freedom from the constant need to justify every second of my existence was freedom from the constant reminder of how different I was. It was freedom from my every day life.

My travels had acquainted me to new parts of my soul, reenergising my spirit and my thoughts. From the kind of control and relentless inputs I had been subjected to, it was refreshing to know that no one would be there to watch and record either my successes or failures. My life was my own. My one year journey had given me the confidence that if I was ever forsaken by the world, that I could make it on my own.

The people I met, the places I saw, the food I tasted, the experiences I lived; all of it had inspired me and awoken me to a world of possibilities. Solo travel and even solo living is something that many people fear or even resent. Not me. Never me. We are not islands, that much is true. But we are also not tools for others to live vicariously through. We are human beings, given some individual talents and thoughts, that cannot be lost in the milieu. One message has echoed through the years I've lived: I am different. I can never be one of the crowd. I will not follow the normal path of life. If these be truths, then so be it. I relish them, as they give me chance to find happiness in the most random of places. And even if it is not lasting happiness, I will be happy in different ways at different points of time. 

Solo travel confronts you with yourself. How will you tackle situations? How will you find a way to make things work? When you see yourself as capable of dealing with life, you will understand, it is okay to be solo! I refuse to use the word "alone". That word, with all its depressing and negative connotations, is a word I refuse to have in my vocabulary. I relish its peace. I relish not being forced to toe some other's hypocritical line. Solo travel unearthed my voice, from ears of subjugation and berating. I would encourage it for everyone who feels trapped, for everyone who feels unworthy and for everyone who needs a change of thoughts. Sometimes the people we are surrounded have tremendous amounts of negative energy that we need to escape from in order to recreate sanity. 

Take a selfie stick for pictures if you really must. Most importantly, open your mind. Have conversations with random strangers. Sit alone in cafes and read with cake and tea. Wander around and get lost in the cobblestone streets of small hamlets. Get drenched in the rain cause you were too lazy to carry a heavy umbrella. Watch cows and sheep pass by on your train journeys. Take in the changing colours of the sky at different times of the day. Sit in a pub at noon and watch the townsfolk converse. All of this is important, because it helps you realise that there is no right way of living and that all make the world. The rich, the poor, the intellectual, the doer, the idiot, the scoundrel, the joker, the giver, the taker; everyone makes the world, as do all ways of living. With this in mind, judgment becomes a vice that cannot be resorted to. Constant competition with yourself and the world around you, will also become a waste of time. 

I think the best part of my solo travels was conversation. I conversed with a variety of people of different age groups; mostly older than me. I learnt how paradoxical human interaction can be. We can be so similar and yet so different. It is the environment we live in that creates the differences. Realising that inculcated empathy and understanding in me. We do not have "natural" enemies the way animals do. We create them and are taught to consider people as our enemies. For example, I met some of the kindest nicest Pakistani women whilst I was studying in the UK. Many worked in Reading, where I lived, and they always cracked the widest smiles when they saw me. They would sneak extra servings of food for me too, when I would eat in the cafeteria! One of my cab drivers was a wonderful Pakistani gentleman, who was very perturbed that his prayer times had not be respected by his bosses. When I apologised for my part in this unfair delay, I was met with the following response: "beta (child), Kohi baath nahi (Don't mention it). Aapki galthi nahi hein (It is not your fault). You need to go to the airport. I understand. So will God. In India they will never dream of doing such things! ALWAYS respectful." Even the local butcher was a kind old Pakistani gentleman who loved engaging in discussions with me when I went to the shop to buy other groceries. So while I would assist my friends in negotiating rates with him for their weekly meet purchase, he would regale me in talk of pre independence India. He thoroughly detested the partition you see, and he made no bones about it! It was interesting to get such new perspectives from them. I will write more in the coming chapters about Conversations I've had. I had so many, and it would be grave injustice to include only a few. The ones I picked here, were merely to illustrate that you can bring out the best in any one. If that is your aim. 

Solo travel taught me how to create a life where I knew nothing and nobody. It taught me to make comfort in the craziest situations. It taught me different lives and different types of living. And I loved it!