Dry Drowning (Lapidot)

Worlds Away

Peridot's perspective
What is this?
Why am I this way?
Why does it obstruct my ability to speak, or look at her without blushing?

This is all so ridiculous. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd get sick feeling.
But now, it's like I can't even function properly. How inconvenient...

I can't quite identify what's causing me to feel this way, as it grows stronger, harder to control, and more difficult to ignore. I almost don't want to know. I fear what will happen if I find out, and it turns out to be something absolutely horrible. The feeling is like poison, spreading throughout me, slowly draining my life, tainting my very being. I don't know how to react, or how to act in general anymore. I'm incompetent, and I hate it. Rendered impaired, by still wildly enchanted by this feeling, it bubbles up in my chest, building up. I suspect that someday, I won't be able to hold it in anymore, and it will fly out of my mind, and into the real world, shifting the balance of my own life.

I still have this odd falling sensation along with this emotion that makes me loopy. Like everything is happening too fast, all at once, in a blur of blue and green. The way TV static moves too fast for my eyes to follow, and just as incoherent.

I just compared a feeling to a television.... maybe I'm losing my mind!

I don't feel crazy. This may be outlandish, and all around weird, but I know for a fact, that as a proud Crystal Gem, I am, in fact, not insane.

I've fallen away from Earth, and landed in a world where trying to figure out my tangled web of emotion, and feeling, and overall strangeness is going to turn me crazy. Eventually.
However, there is one gem in particular who slows down this rush of feeling and events.
Lapis.
She's been a bit more on calm side since we met. I've always admired that, to be perfectly honest. I know I can be a bit high-strung sometimes, only a little though. I just can't help but adore the way she balances me out, with here serene, deep blue ocean, and my own bold greens and yellows, like a grassy field as summer submits to fall.

I'm lost in my own maze of thought, trying to find my way to the exit, where everything will be unraveled, and I will be able to return to the way everything was, and not have to think so deeply. But my mind keeps finding it's back to one corridor, and in that corridor is Lapis Lazuli.

I can't stop veering back to her. She is my friend after all, or so I like to think, but why is she practically imprinted into my brain? The thought is so uncanny, it makes me shiver. Shiver at the very thought of her.

And there it is again. The falling sensation.

It never feels exactly the same. Everything in my mind, my heart, is constantly growing and changing, as I learn more, realize the world I live in today. I am as full of life as it is, and now, I certainly feel that way. Everything is crashing upon me, like a wave, feeling everything at once, too much. Too little. Too intense. Too feeble.
Completely overloaded.

I pull myself out of the depths of my thoughts, and look around. I'm still in the same spot, staring at nothing.

"Um, Peridot? Are you okay?" Lapis asks.
I nearly jump. I feel as if it's been forever since I've heard her voice, and it sounds melodic, refreshing now. Everything is more colorful, sharp, but still abstract, blurring before my eyes. I don't know how to feel, but I never want to stop feeling.

"Uh, yeah. I'm okay." I reply. I don't sound okay, but Lapis accepts my answer regardless.

I mentally make a promise to myself to figure this all out later, and head off to watch Camp Pining Hearts.