Between Worlds (TEMP HOLD)

Twenty One: Bad News

        Xavier has always looked so still in his sleep. It was the only time his mind wasn't running on overdrive. He looked at ease, and there is color slowly returning to his features. I can't tell you how long I was sitting at his side; seconds, minutes, hours. I held his hand, and patiently waited.

          His eyes blink slowly. Confused, Xavier glances us towards me and a small smile touches his lips. "You're pretty," he says deliriously. "Where am I?"

         "You're in the Underworld. You're in our room." Well, my old room. Xavier's things had been brought here. His clothes are in my closet, along with my new work uniforms. There was nothing the Infirm Nurse could have done. So she let him return to my room with me. "Do you remember anything? Who you are? Who I am?"

        Slowly, Xavier shakes his head.

        I resist the urge to cry, and have to look away from him. This is too painful for me. "Your name is Xavier Reyes, and you were Hades personal, most trusted servant. You were a husband, a friend, a brother. A wonderful man."

         He sits up very slowly and learns forward. He touches the sides of my face, and it's just the way it used to be. His skin is hot and searing. They stripped him of everything; even our wedding ring, and promised that she would receive it back when he has his memories back. If. Something in his eyes lights up when he touches me. "I can still be that man," he murmurs, and it's like, in that moment, he remembers everything thats happened between us.

          I lean forward, separating the few inches of space between us. His lips are searing hot. He doesn't immediately kiss me back. But when he does, he finally realizes what's happening and pulls back a little.

           I can feel the tears as they roll down my face.

            "I hardly know you... " He whispers.

           Something inside of me cracks. I lean away, letting go of him and turning my head so he couldn't see me cry. "I - I'll see you later."

           I can feel Xavier's eyes watching me as I go. I slip quietly out of my bedroom. The corridors are eerie and silent. This used to feel like home. But without Xavier, it feels a million times different. This place feels strange and cold, and now I know why Castiel felt so trapped here. I don't know where I'm going; I let my feet carry me, and they carry me in the direction of the library.

          The library.

          We had our first kiss in General Fiction. I make my way towards the empty section, and crouch down, wrapping my arms around myself as I let my useless sobs escape. Everything that we had worked so hard to become is gone. I play with the wedding ring on my finger, twisting and turning it, and wanting more than ever for him to simply remember.

           I was shaking. The tears blinded me. But the voice made cold fear drip through my body. He was weak, and tortured and he lost his love, too. He's stuck in this light while she remains part of the infinite darkness. Her screams have joined the others in unison.

          "Fancy meeting you here." Oscar.

           I first met Oscar through Castiel. But our first real encounter was in this library. He held me back while Castiel and Xavier fought. He urged them on, and he was the first to leave when the darling Prince had lost. Oscar used to hide here with Jasmine; the darkness of the second floor concealed them well. Now, it was just Oscar. It will always be just Oscar.

           I turn my head away, and wipe my tears. The sniffles give me away. Oscar could have rolled me over into Tartarus, and he didnt. Maybe there was something salvageable left inside of him. I lift my shoulders in a small shrug. "I come here when I like to be alone." Take the fucking hint.