A Court of Night and Shadows

Chapter 6

Tamlin was called away to the borders just hours after I'd found the head and he'd been gone overnight. He wouldn't tell me what was going on but I'd learned to expect as much. I wasn't too worried about it anyway, I had enough on my plate to think about. I spent the day in my room alone with my thoughts.

I wasn't sure what was happening between Tamlin and I anymore. One moment I was screaming at him and the next I was craving his touch. He kept things from me and made decisions for me, but he constantly took me to new places for me to paint and had been so moved by my painting of the forest back home... He was protective which meant he cared deeply for me, right? But was there even any point in growing any feelings for Tamlin when I knew I had a mate - that I had an ancient connection with an immortal being that ran deeper than any love a mortal could fathom.

But was a mating bond enough? Would I ever love Rhysand? Was it worth discounting everything Tamlin offered to wait for Rhysand? I thought back to the pull I'd felt that night. Just the memories lit the flame in my chest and I felt the bond come to life from where it rest. It was magic. It had to be. It made me so vulnerable, so open and trusting. So easily hurt.

It seemed that no matter what fate I chose, I would lose. One way or another my mortal heart would be shattered.

I sighed and rolled over in my bed and heard a crackle from my pocket.

The note.

I'd almost forgotten about the note that appeared to me with the head. The note I should have just given to Tamlin. It probably had a death threat for him that he would now know nothing about and would soon walk straight into a trap. I muttered a curse under my breath and pulled out the small piece of paper.

"I-it... It's..." I whispered, frustrated. "N-no... No-not wha-what... It's not what... Y-you... Th-thi... Thin-think... It's not what you think," I finally mumbled. Why would the Night Court tell Tamlin that the severed head... Oh. This was from Rhysand. A hand flew to my chest as the cord suddenly went taut for the first time since I'd last seen him. I wish this was easier. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could at least respond, dammit.

A pen appeared in front of me and I yipped in surprise.

Too bad I can't do anything with this. Turmoil sank in me, knowing that I could be communicating with Rhysand for the first time since Fire Night but I was too stupid.

You are hardly what I would call stupid, said a voice in my head. I nearly peed my pants. The voice chuckled. Not just a voice - Rhysand's voice.

Overwhelming relief flooded through me. I couldn't believe how much I'd missed that voice - the voice I'd only heard for one day but was easily a part of me now. The bond flooded with warmth.

I don't have much time, Feyre, I closed my eyes as he said my name. It's a risk for me to talk to you this way, but... it's been getting hard - on the bond - to be without you. I sent you the note but didn't get a response. I was just checking in on you when you were reading it.

I blushed. He'd listened to me sounding out his short, little note like a child.

I can teach you, but that will be another time... There wasn't an ounce of condescension in his voice. You can mentally respond, Feyre.

I sat up and sucked in a breath. I missed you, I said before I could think about it too long.

It's strange, isn't it? That I feel as though I've loved you all my life but I know little of your life.

I was holding my breath, my head growing fuzzy as I forced an exhale. Yes, quite strange... What was that today?

It's complicated... he said, his inner voice quiet in my head. But I will say that man felt no pain. When Amarantha bids me to tasks like these, I do what I can to choose those who have committed enough crimes, they deserved such a fate. And even then I usually protect their minds from the pain.