I'm in front of Zayn's hotel door. I was shaking and I couldn't breathe. I was about open the door until I heard voices behind the door. It was Sarah and Zayn.
"Zayn, I'm confused. We went public, but I was reading through your phone and I saw texts to and from Karoline. You were flirting with her and everything. Why me? You seem to love her."
They were talking about me. I couldn't bear hearing them talking about me, but I just had to stay. I had to.
"Babe, listen. I don't love her. I never did. Even when I kissed her when she was leaving and told her I loved her, it was all lies. I was just in the moment. You're everything to me. She's nothing."
I'm nothing? Nothing?! He fucking told me lies this whole time? Okay, Zayn. You lost your chance. Whatever.
I ran into my room. I felt worthless and I felt like the whole world was over. The same sentence repeated in my head. "She’s nothing" the more I thought about it, the more I began to believe that I was worthless. I laid in my bed, alone and cried. Sobbed my eyes out.
~
I couldn't sleep. It was about midnight, and everybody was obviously awake. I shared a room with niall, but he went out drinking. I woke up with puffy eyes. Nothing ever goes right for me, does it? First I break up with Liam, and that was my first mistake. Then I had sex with Zayn and he plays me, three times! Finally, Niall uses me. It's not a big deal now, but everything seems to be my fault. This pain is too much to bear. My stomach felt as if it was upside down. I'm a horrible person, and I am nothing. I'm worthless and nobody cares about me. I have nothing to lose anymore. Nothing matters. I knew what I needed to do. I got a razor ready. I was shaking insanely. I kept thinking "Why should I do this? Well why not? Nobody cares anyway. It's not like I'm anything special. Nothing ever goes right. I hate myself." I was centimeters away until I see Niall open the door.
Niall's POV:
I went out drinking with the boys for a little while. Andrea came just to have a good time. She didn't drink though, for the baby obviously. I really wished Karoline was here though. It was only midnight, where could she be?
"Drea, where's Kare? She usually comes with us on these things."
I saw her glance at Zayn, and that's all the answer I needed. That prick hurt her in some way, and I needed to talk to her. No, I needed to tell her how I felt about her. She needs to know. To know everything I feel for her. I wasn't that drunk, so I drove back to the hotel.
~
I got to the hotel and I went up the elevator and got to our room. I looked on the bed, and she wasn’t there. I heard shaking in the bathroom and I knew something was wrong. I opened the door and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She was inches away from cutting her beautiful skin.
"Niall! W-w-what are you doing here." her voice was shaken. I couldn’t see her like this. She deserves all the happiness in the world.
"KAROLINE STOP. Why would you do this to your beautiful skin? Why? Because of Zayn? That prick doesn't understand what he’s done to you. Tell me, love, what did he do to you?! I'll personally kick his ass for you. But don't ever do this!" I held her writs in my hands. I was on my knees as she was sitting on the toilet seat. She only replied with "why?"
I knew it was time to tell her everything.
"Because I love you, Karoline. I’ve loved you since I kissed you last time when I found out Renee was pregnant. You're amazing, and beautiful, and you deserve to be happy, and to be treated as a princess. I want to be that guy that loves you forever and never hurts you." I kiss her wrists and say, "Baby, promise me you'll never cut. You're too beautiful to be scared"
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. She only replied with a kiss. I intertwined my fingers in her hair and my other hand on her waist. The kiss was passionate and loving. It was everything I have ever wanted to feel. She pulled back a little and said "I love you so much Niall. I trust you. And I promise I won't cut." I smiled at her and kissed the tip of her nose. I grabbed her hand and led her to the bed that we now shared.
~
She’s so beautiful, and I care about her so much. I don’t know why she would ever consider doing something like this to herself.
Those were the thoughts I had when I woke up the next morning with Danny in my arms. It was about noon and my head was hurting from last night’s mild drinking and I looked to my right and I see her sleeping peacefully. She’s so content and I just didn’t want to wake her up. I moved hair from her face just so I could see her clearer, but I guess I was rough enough to wake her up.
I looked at her, smiled and said “Good morning, babe.” and kissed her nose.
She blushed like a little girl with a crush and said “Morning, Nialler.”
We have gotten so comfortable with each other that our morning breath wasn’t a big deal to us anymore.
“You’re so beautiful, you know that? I don’t ever want you to scare me like that ever again.”
She moves closer to me, her left half on top of me and says “I promise. As long as we’re together, I won’t.” and kissed my lips. I was feeling butterflies in my stomach and I was getting goose-bumps, and she made me feel so happy. My hand snaked over to her waist, under her shirt. She eased up a bit and said “Niall, are you sure? Don’t you hear what everybody says about me?” she was talking about what happened last night. All I know is that Zayn said or did something, and now they call her a whore and that she sleeps around. “Babe, I don’t care what everybody else says. I love you, and you make me happy. And I hope that I make you happy. I’m positive” she smiled and continued to kiss me again. I place my hand back on her bare waist, slowly raising it towards her bra buckle and snapped it off. She giggled and lifted her shirt up and off to remove her bra. I grabbed both of her breasts and massaged them, kissing each one of them and lightly grazing my teeth on each of them. I heard her slightly moan with pleasure. “You’re so beautiful.” I muttered to her in her ear. She starts to put her hands on my abs and slowly lifting my shirt off. She kisses my neck leaving me small love bites and making her way down my chest. I grab her face and lift her back up so I could kiss her. My tongues sliding into her mouth as I passionately kiss her. As I do, she reaches down to my pants to find me bulging out of my pajama pants. I pull back a little and just look at her. She simply smiles and grazes my bottom lip with her teeth. I help her slip out of my pants and out of my boxers, and I do the same for her; taking off her pajama shorts and underwear until we were both completely naked. Her body close with mine, our legs intertwined, giving each other passionate kisses. “Niall get the condom!” she told me roughly. I had a condom right next to us in the drawer. I pulled it out, opened it, and slipped it on. I hovered over her, looking at how beautiful she looked. I slowly inserted myself into her. She winces in pain in the first thrusts, but once I got into a rhythm, she was moaning in pleasure. The walls contracting around me got tighter and tighter and I just kept going in and out of her. I was so close to cumming. “Babe I’m cumming.” I went in and out faster and I finally exploded. I moaned her name, and I laid down next to her, breathing heavily. “That was amazing.” She finally said, out of breath. “I love you” I said kissing her.
“Nialler, I’m tired. You wore me out” she laughed “I think I’m going back to sleep”
I nodded and I joined her to sleep.
I held her in my arms and I didn't ask about Zayn. This moment was too perfect to mess up. I kissed her cheek softly as I whispered goodnight in her ear. We drifted off to sleep.
