Metalocalypse Painting with Bob Ross

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse or Bob Ross. I only own the fanfiction. Rated Teen for mildly inappropriate times. Now, on with the fanfiction!

It was an ordinary evening for Dethklok: Nathan was thinking of "metal lyrics" for a song. Murderface was sipping a glass of bourbon while in deep thought about urine. Pickles was getting high off of anything he could find in the room. Skwisgaar was reading one of those tacky love novels. Toki was eating a bag of peppermint candies. Charles walked into the dimly lit lounge where the band was relaxing. "Okay boys, I've received several complaints about your violent tendencies." The manager stated as he pushed his glasses up. "What does you mean Im is too violents?" The Norwegian man protested as he crunched on a circle of the minty candy. Murderface, enraged by Charles statement, slammed his glass of bourbon on the table and hollered, " Well if they think I'm too violent then maybe I'll just kill myself!" "This is what they meant," Charles muttered under his breath. "Anyway," He continued, "They said you need to release your anger in a healthy manner." He pulled a cd out from his back pocket. The title read "Painting with Bob Ross." "They suggested that this may help," Charles said. "Sounds unmetal," Nathan said plainly. "Well, you're doing it anyway, like it or not." Charles firmly stated and popped the cd into the DVD player. The klokateers brought easels, canvases, paints, and palettes. "This is total d*ldos" Skwisgaar grumbled as the executive pressed "play". "Welcome," came Ross's calm, soothing voice, "today we're going to be painting a forest." Toki's eyes lit up: He loved forests. Skwisgaar gave a grunt of approval, for he loved forests as much as the brown-haired male. The rest of the band rolled their eyes. Charles quietly left, deciding that he would come back later and see how they did.

(/^^)/ Time skip brought to you by Bob Ross beating the devil out of his brush \(^^\)

With the episode done, he came back into the room to see how they did. He was less that surprised by what he saw: Nathan had painted the whole canvas black claiming "The forest caught on fire and all the happy little trees burnt down". Murderface painted a wiggly yellow line across the canvas and dubbed it "A river of p*ss". Pickles had a natural forest at first glance, but with a closer look had empty alcohol bottles and other debris painted through the woods. Skwisgaar had painted a very buff version of himself surrounded by old women in the middle of a forest. Toki, who had tried the hardest to follow along, had a poorly made painting which he called, "A pretty forests with happy trees." Charles sighed. Well, at least they weren't lighting things on fire and disturbing the townspeople.