ARC10

Chapter 6.2

My mind must have shut off somewhere between Dean's soft pleading and the thunderous noise of the shower because I don't remember stepping in, twisting the spigot, or falling to the corner in a ball. The water and steam cover me in my own vapor cave.

I let the shower cry for me. Water streams from my eyes and covers my cheeks and hands, but they don't come from inside. They are on my face, my lashes, my forehead, my ears, my lips, my nose, my thighs, and my feet—they're basically the same thing.

The water turns icy cold. My time is up.

The silence after the persistent pounding against my ears is too thin. There needs to be more noise, more trouble, more problems. I can't fathom the next course of action as I'm awkward and unusual in my own skin. Maybe I'll take a run before starting the morning shift. That's an action I would have done normally. What I used to do when I was just Janika Lorn.

Now I'm Janika Lorn who has been impregnated by Dean Freyer. These two completely different humans exist in vastly contrasting universes.

On my way out the pod, the faint vibration of an incoming PIM stops me in my tracks.

[Incoming Message: DFREYER]

PLEASE DONT COME TONIGHT

[Incoming Message: DFREYER]

DONT SIGN

[Incoming Message: DFREYER]

WE CAN MAKE IT WORK IF YOU DONT

[Incoming Message: DFREYER]

I KNOW BY SENDING THIS ITS GOING TO MAKE YOU WANT TO COME MORE BUT IM BEGGING YOU--FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CHILD--DONT SIGN THE CONTRACT

[Incoming Message: DFREYER]

PLEASE NIKA

It takes me a few seconds to process what he's "requesting."

Pain flares in my jaw after clenching my teeth hard. I've been stalking the halls of the Rotunda like a furious bat straight out of a burning hell. My fists ball into tight grenades at my side.

Trust me, he said.

Trust him, I told myself.

What a load of total horse shit.

PLEASE DONT COME TONIGHT. He's going to the meeting, and he's going to step up when it matters most to humanity. He's going to be a hero, and I'm going to be the thing he knocked up. He'll be seen as magnificent, and my reward is the memory of his eyes shut tight as he pummels himself into my unhappy body. It's not fair. It's not fair at all.

Where is this Equality for Unity the URE spews? Where is my equality? Why am I left in the rust when my contracted partner to run for his pedestal?

Over my dead body.

Pregnant or not. I need this mission.

I'm not going to be left here, useless, unable to do what I promised Hayomo I would do for her and for this godforsaken URE. If I don't leave now, I'm going to die trying.

The red, crooked letters of the Sink watch me seethe in fury as I collect myself.

If the scenario would play out how I want, we'd be on separate ships, this future human will come out early, and I can return to doing what I can for the mission. Because he's on a separate ship in my imaginary scenario, I won't have to see him for five or more years. Maybe his ship explodes, and I'll never have to see him again.

My gut flips sideways. The drastic thought crossed a line. I may be mad, but I don't want him dead. Not really.

But if we are separated, how could they possibly even attempt to uphold the second part of the contract if we can't even physically be near each other? It would be far too dangerous to interrupt an intergalactic mission to save twenty thousand humans in order to schedule a romantic rendezvous to create one more.

What happened, happened. I can't alter the past. But I can figure out how to tweak the future.

With new resolve, I whip out the papers from the inside pocket of my gray jacket where they'd been sitting close to my heart. I lay them out on the metal bar.

I open to page 253.

Grasping the pen with an awkward, clumsy grip, I commit.