NananaE123 Journal

Something I have learned about parents

*Warning: long rant

Well, I've learn from my science teacher that you should love your parents.

Sometimes you think they don't understand how you're living and how you're treated, your parents live the same experience that you do.

I have a father who I once love. When I was little I loved my father, but  when I was fifth or sixth grade I got a bad score in my math test, he broke the tv card and he smashed my Nintendo DS.

I never forgave him for that, NEVER.

I pushed him away for I guess 2-4 years. I didn't want to look at him that much.

I just couldn't forgive him after what he did.

That's the 2nd or 3rd time I've seen him that angry. The 1st and/or 2nd was him being angry time my older sister.

I guess now I forgave him now.

Anyway what I'm saying is don't hate your parents, they don't want to admit it but everything they're doing is for a purpose.

(Beginning of rant, skip this if you don't want to read)

Honestly I didn't know what I felt about my family. My mom would be angry for every little wrong thing I do. I didn't like it when my mom got angry at me and start calling me mean names that I won't even tell you about.

And now I'm traumatized by her shouting to me in my head

It hurts me dearly.

My sister and my mom is the same actually, so much traits in common.

Temper, insults (especially to me), sarcasm.

I just don't get it! How come everytime she gets into trouble you don't insult her! You just be mad at her and let her go, but nooooo when it comes to me you insult me, but then you let me go.

You say I talk too much! Well sooory if I'm using this for socializing like you asked me too! Because you think I don't have any friends even though I do! The more you say it make it's sound like I'm truly alone! But I'm not!

(END OF RANT)

*clears throat*
What I'm saying is don't hate your parents, or if you have seen my rant (more like rage) this is before I told my mom the truth of how I felt, and now she's rarely gets angry which I'm so happy!

Now I realized that my anger before I told my mom the truth is a bit off of me, so I do apologize for that.

It just that I've rarely express my anger because I had to hide my anger because whenever my mom get angry with me, I had to hide my anger be causing me to become stressful and if I did, she would yell at me or came running or hit me.

I'm just really terrified and shaken up a bit.

Anyway don't hate your parents

Goodbye Dragon Pack Family

Love,
         Nana