The Secret

EXPOSED

PROLOGUE

THE TEARS came fast down my face as I left the room. I had to get out, I had to find some way to escape. Sadly, the bathroom was the only place I could think of.
     I was at school, we were working on a float for the parade in one of the clubs I'm in. This just can't be happening to me. My biggest secret, my biggest fear, my biggest insecurity is out there now. Out there for the world to see. He will probably tell everyone. All of my friends will know and push me away. They will treat me as if I had some type of disease.
     I stood and stared at myself in the mirror. What am I going to do now? Do I hide my weakness? That would be too hard. Would I confront him and plan my revenge? Would I just cry every night because every other detail of me was already known? Just this one thing I wanted to keep a secret and I failed.... Would I talk to my best friend about it, who doesn't even know? What could they do anyway, other than saying sorry which fixes nothing?
     I stood there for a few minutes with a blank look on my face. The tears came, but only in a slow downward streak. I didn't bother to wipe them away. This is who I am. The hardest thing in the world is to accept myself for who I am. That's why I don't talk much, I don't put myself out there. I'm simply afraid of what people will think.
     "Jenny?" Sharon came in after me.
     I didn't say anything, I stood there looking into my reflection until another tear slid down my cheek. That's when I wiped it away, only glancing at the glitter that now covered my hand.
     "Are you okay?"
     "No."
     "What's wrong? What happened?"
     "Nothing," I said. Which was a complete lie. Something happened, something that tore me apart. Something that made me feel as if my innocence was taken from me. Like when that special moment happens that you could never get back. As who I use to be was just taken from me. That I now have nothing special about me. That I am an entire new person. I was so much younger yesterday.
     "Let's go," I said hoping that my face wasn't a red yellow color. No more tears came, I thought of everything, distracted myself by being observant. As long as I was out and talking to people I would be okay. I wouldn't feel okay, but at least I wouldn't be crying.
     We walked down the hall way for a bit and then turned around to get back to the float room. I was doing alright. And then I saw him again. The person who knew. He knows. He's not supposed to know.
     Suddenly, I couldn't get those words out of my head. They kept repeating over and over and over again. So the tears came back and I had to run from the room without telling anyone. I wasn't sure if a person noticed that I was gone or saw me leave, but I had to. I found my way to bathroom despite the blurriness of my vision. I slid down into the corner on the far end of the bathroom, away from the mirror, away from the door. I hugged my knees and I cried.