Waldosia

FINAL

He watched her as some of the blueberry sauce stained the corner of her lips. He inwardly smiled, remembering how a messy eater she is ever since. Ketchups, gravy, chocolate drinks, mayonnaise, Bea never failed to leave memories of the things that touched her lips on the other parts of her existence.

Sadly, he can't find any trace of him now in her.

He continued watching her munching her cake, drinking her frappe, typing on her Mac, highlighting parts of her book, unmindful of the other people inside the coffee shop. Suddenly, she looked up at him. Too fast for him to realize. Too late for him to pretend he's not staring.

She stared back. He looked away, fumbling with his phone. He let few seconds to pass before looking again, and he caught her shaking her head, smiling while she continues browsing on her laptop.

Yes, smile for me Beatriz. Just think that I'm just another fan. Or just a shadow in your world. Don't mind me. Don't be afraid. Don't run. Don't..don't run away some more.

On his peripheral view, he can see some people silently observing them. He can almost taste the sympathy they have for him. He smirked, feeling his heavy chest, and the weight of the whole two years of bearing those looks.

Two hours turned into three. Into four. Into five. He just watched her doing her thing, making sure she's fine. Doing the thing he used to do for her, the thing he loved doing for her.

He watched her fixing her things and finally standing up. She's talking to someone on her phone, probably her mom, because he heard her say "medicines" "promise" and "don't worry". She's so busy she just went out, accidentally leaving her umbrella on the couch. He looked outside, seeing raindrops starting to fall.

He went to the couch, he got the umbrella, and he ran towards the exit. But she's running, too. They found themselves slamming to each other few steps from the door.

"Opps!"

"Heeey!"

She stared at him, and at the umbrella he's holding.

"I-I..I was about to give this back to you." he said.

It took her few seconds before figuring out what he said. She finally smiled while taking the umbrella from him.

"Sorry..makakalimutin kasi talaga ako." she joked, scratching her forehead. This is only the second time he got this opportunity to be this close to her..again.

So he wants to save every moment in his memory. From the way she smiled, the way she shyly looked down, the long scar on her forehead that he knows goes straight to her skull, the blueberry stain on her dress, the baby hairs under her ears he used to tuck behind.

He felt a lump in his throat. He felt tears wanting to escape so he coughed to shoo them away.

"Are you okay?" she said, concern in her eyes.

"Huh?..Ah! Yeah, yeah. That's okay. Buti pabalik ka na pala. Umuulan kasi."

"Oo. Uhm..thank you ulit...?"

"Thirdy. My name is Thirdy."

"Hi Thirdy! I often see you around so it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Bea." she offered her hand.

Don't offer that. I might not let go.

A second and then it's over.

Enough to acknowledge. Enough for her not to wonder. Enough for him to be reminded of their reality.

"Nice meeting you Bea."

"Sige, I better go. Thank you ulit!" she waved him goodbye.

He watched her go. He returned to the coffee shop, picking up his things. It's still raining hard outside.

And inside him, too.

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Shaking off dust in my head,

J.