Natalie's Diary

[WATTY WINNING BONUS]

This is a very special bonus I bring you in honor of Natalie's Diary winning a Writer's Debut Award with the 2016 Watty's. Thank you all so much for your support and for your love of the book. 

So, to mark the occasion, I bring you a tiny piece of Natalie. I bring you her cramped handwriting and her very first thoughts on Jane and insights into the variations there could've been on the future. How Cullfield would've continued to pull people into its corruption. 

(If you can't read the hand-writing, don't fear. The text exists in regular typeface below the images. Feel for Jane deciphering Natalie's cramped handwriting for so long.)

I saw her today for the first time. The moment I saw her, I understood how one person could accomplish shifting the future toward something purer. We haven't spoken, but anyone able to completely shake my doubts away must be capable of great things. It's been so long since I could look at someone without questioning whether it's reality or visions I see.

I'm beginning to understand that it is better to swing the wrecking ball into the crumbling house than to watch it eaten away by termites. That is what Cullfield is. That's what I am. That's what Kate Haumann and Rhys Davenport are. And I see that entangling them with someone new can clear the foundations for a fresh start.

I don't want to see the stretches of future ahead of my classmates anymore. I don't want to see Rhys guilted and blackmailed into running the museum, keeping all the town's secrets safe. It's already started. The Garnetts already have too much sway in the Davenport's household, claws already dug in from bargaining Kian's way out of trouble. And I see that if there's any chance of Rhys escaping the Garnetts influence, Hunter Kohler's death must come out.

There's no way to reveal Hunter without the threads tugging on Jonathan Kohler and Cecilia Wood. It's impossible to unearth the past without Conrad Haumann. Perhaps the justice will be worth it. If I could ever make them see that without action, their losses mean nothing. It will take a nudge for them to realize that they've already been stripped of everything that matters, that there's nothing left to lose.

It would be a sick and twisted thing for Kate to follow unknowingly in her father's footsteps, gaining notoriety and sway only for it to be puppeted around by the same people who forced her father's hand. The blood never washes off, no matter who they try to protect. Murder is still murder, no matter the good intentions. The Garnetts need to see that blood drip from their own fingers, feel the misery they have caused.

They are crumbling houses. And I order the demolition. For Cullfield's sake.

I understand now what I must do. I see it in the dark eyes of the girl next door. She fits into the puzzle without Cullfield yet sinking into her skin. I didn't realize I was waiting for, but now, she lights the way out in my dreams. I have to find what Jonathan Kohler saved from the fire.

I'll do my best to guide Jane in the right direction. It is not enough to know all the answers. If I was to reveal everything myself, no one would answer the call. No one would creep out of the long, powerful shadow the Garnetts cast. Jane Madarang is exactly the right person to force the truth out.

And I will know I have done some good before the dreams overwhelm me.