Haunted By Your Ghost

Spiral

A quick moment of passion in the moment that is all it had taken. I had been crushing on him since the 8th grade. In the corridor it seemed as though there was a few moments of stolen glances. He made me weak at the knees. When he was around it was like there was a limited amount of air supply. I could never talk to him always coming across weird or awkward. "Hi me to you nice?" thats not even a sentence.

Now in 12th grade I still felt the same way about him. Every weekend there were house parties being thrown. I never usually went to them but I knew he was and so I thought I would go. Maybe after I had  a bit of a drink I would be more confident around him and could talk to him.

Shotting some down drinks one after the other down the hatch - burning my throat. There he was with his friends. I seized the moment. My heart pounding as I got closer to him.

"Hey Justin, would you like to get out of here?" I asked as I held my hand out.

He took it! My heart melted. I led him where everyone else usually went for peace. I finally had his arms wrapped around me. I had been dreaming of his scent and about his lips brushing off mine for as long as I can remember. I had dreamed about the moment where he would play with my hair and his fingers slightly touching my skin tickling me. For what we were about to do I hoped the time would stand still so I could stay in this moment forever. But it was over before I had known.

Next came the complications, I was just good for that one night of passion nothing more. It broke my heart. I thought I had meant more to him than just the drunken mistake. I thought after the moment we had shared he wold have chosen me.

I walked the halls of the school for the next few weeks keeping my head down. Those few weeks then turned into months  where I was unable to even make eye contact with him. Sometimes I would even avoid him completely and take a different route to my classes. But it didn't matter what route I would take, between his friends niggling at me, making fun of a private moment between Justin and I. Other kids would join in and before I knew it I was known as easy and a slut.

The only place I couldn't avoid him was in the classes he would be in. As the sniggers and whispers would fill the room, he just sat there in his seat and didn't say a word. He didn't stand up for me. He just let everyone take their digs at me. I sat there helpless and took it. I started to believe that I was no good that I had no value of my own. Being in the same class as him, the spotlight shone so bright and yet I had all the space on this stage and felt suffocated. I felt as though my heart was slowly beating slower and slower as the air in my lungs came crushing down on me. I just wanted a way out, so scared and petrified to ask for help I suffered alone.

***

It was another day, another day of the same torture and anther day where I was everyones target helping them forget about their troubles. Or helping them not becoming the targets. Worst part was I was completely alone, I had no friends as I walked the halls. 

Next thing I know my head hit the floor. Everyone gathered around me everyone except Justin and his friends.

"Everyone go to class the bell has gone." Demanded the teacher.

He came to my rescue. "I need help, someone get me help. Don't just stand there get another teacher!" he shouted.

He tried to comfort me and was just as clueless as everyone else was as to why there was a pool blood spreading amongst the cracks of the floor.

Not long did the loud noise from the ambulance arrive. I was taken away to the hospital and everyone went their usual business.

"Sir we can handle it from here." Insisted the paramedic.