A Lady's Guide to Courtship

XII. First Kiss

Dearest Lady Weis,

Adams School for Young Gentlemen treated me fairly. I was admitted in advance by my father, thus I was the youngest amongst my friends. The best of them, I must say, was Levi Everard. He did help me escape school on numerous occasions to venture out into town, to experience how it is to be a man.

He also saved me a lot when I was too frail to fight for myself. I remember how we battled five grown men, waking up in the infirmary hours later. My father never learned of it as did Levi's parents.

My friendship with the Lord of Standbury, is perhaps one of the most essential things I treasure. It did break my heart when he decided to hide in his estate for years, and quite a little when he chose to finally find a wife.

I am hoping to visit him soon as he and his wife had sent me a gracious invitation to their estate.

Yours,

William

*****

She wanted to live in that moment and never wake up, Ysabella thought.

His lips were gentle yet demanding, his hands tender yet gripping.

So many emotions, so many feelings rushed through her veins and she clung to them as long as she could, as long as she could let herself do so.

Because it has to end, a part of her whispered in her ear. The part that wanted to live this dream tried to brush the thought aside, but the whisper persisted, ringing inside her head until it was stronger than her body's will.

She could not do this.

Fear started to eat her inside.

What if he'd hate her?

She had been silent all this time, allowing him not to hear her voice, because of this fear.

He'd hate me. He'd hate Lady Weis.

So Ysabella pushed him away with a gasp, her body feeling suddenly empty at the loss of his touch.

"What is the matter?" he asked, voice confused.

Ysabella bent down to grab her mask from the floor and ran to the door.

"Stay," he begged, watching but not coming after her. "Please."

He could not call her by her name because he did not know who she was. And it hurt the most.

She replaced her mask over her face with shaking hands and reached for the doorknob. Careful not to let the light from the corridor shine upon her, Ysabella threw Wakefield one last glance. His silhouette was simply standing there, helpless and determined at the same time.

With not a word spoken, with naught but a stolen kiss, Ysabella slipped out into of the door as fast as she could, closing it behind her.

And then she ran.

Oh, God, what had she done? She had merely made things much worse. She came to tell him the truth but it never happened. It never did because deep inside she did not want it to happen.

She was afraid he could only love Lady Weis.

She burst inside the ballroom, finally safe and protected by the crowd.

Yet why did she feel she had to escape and run even further?

That, she did, crossing the ballroom to find her family.

*****

Wakefield ran after her. He did not mean to, but the moment she left him alone in that empty library, he knew he had to find her.