Sweet Dreams

Twelve

Jane and Emma shuffled in to their seats in the middle of the third row, a string of apologys tumbling from their tipsy lips as they trod on people's toes and bags as they went. They'd spent the entirety of the support act in the bar, Jane seeking the confidence only her Italian friend, Pinot Grigio, could give. It had only meant to be a loosener. She didn't want to drink so much that she was off her face when she arrived at Gary's door. Or worse, blurted out what was going on to Emma. Loose lips, sink (relation)ships after all, and she didn't want to jeopardise whatever she had with Gary.

As they sat down on to the red plastic fold down seats, Jane felt her head swim, the alcohol already taking effect. Glad of a seat, but knowing she wouldn't be in it long, Jane took a steadying breath, her fingers gripping the edge of the plastic seat. Emma would certainly mistake it for excitement but in truth she felt unexpectedly nervous. The man she'd spent the afternoon with would soon be stood on that stage in front of her, women screaming for him, lusting after him - as she had done many times - and then she was going back to his hotel room. A secret only the pair of them knew. Perhaps she should be buoyed by this but she wasn't. Jane's stomach churned. A rather unsettling feeling when you're half a bottle of Pinot down. What if he looked at her during the gig? What was she supposed to do? What if it was written all over her face? Or what if he didn't look at her at all?

The arena felt electric. An excited hum chased itself along the rows of women waiting impatiently. It was imminent, she could feel it. Jane felt Emma's eyes on her and turned to see her indicating the close proximity of the stage with an exaggerated tilt of her head. Her blue eyes were wide and a grin grew across her face. Jane tried to rearrange her countenance quickly, she was sure she looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. Emma's brow furrowed at her friend not sharing in her excitement, and opened her mouth, a question on her tongue but the room was plunged in to darkness, screams and cheers filling their ears. In the lightlessness, Emma continued to eye her friend quizzically until her attention was distracted by a loud cheer from the crowd and her eyes darted towards the stage, her imminent interrogation of Jane seemingly forgotten.

Jane couldn't help the grin spread across her face as excitement superseded her nerves. In those moments before the boys came on, when the music built to a crescendo, it was impossible not to share in the excitement of her fellow fans.

Backstage, Gary's finger's drummed impatiently on his thigh as the intro music  played out to the arena. They could hear the roar from the crowd as they waited for their cue. Mark moved along the line, hugging each of his band mates in turn and wishing them a good show. Mark clapped Gary on the back and Gary returned a somewhat anxious smile. Aside from opening night, Gary hadn't felt nervous on this tour, he felt confident that this this was the best show they'd ever toured and vocally they were all tight, but as the last chords of O Fortuna rang out around the arena, the uneasy stab of nerves pierced his stomach. She was out there. And somehow it mattered what she thought. Really mattered. Mark grinned at Gary, rocking back on his heels, his excitement infectious.

The crowd went wild as the boys took a step on to the stage. The noise was almost deafening. Gary scanned the crowd on the pretence of taking it all in. His eyes roaming the nameless faces in search of the girl with red hair. Red. He found her almost instantly. A few rows back. Her eyes were wide, her smile broad, the light dancing across her face. She wasn't screaming at him like the others. Her arms not flailing in the air. She looked serene amongst the chaos of the crowd. She was looking straight at him, as if she'd known the exact spot he would appear. Their eyes locked momentarily, green to hazel, lust to desire, longing to yearning. The size of his grin reflected in hers. He'd already lingered too long and with a parting wink, he tore his gaze away and bought the microphone to his lips.

As Gary's voice rang out around the arena, Jane felt her heart would burst right out of her chest. She took a mental snapshot of that moment with Gary, trying hard to commit to memory. That instant when it had all been laid bare for someone who was paying close enough attention. Someone who had noticed he'd stood up a little taller, his pupils dilated as he'd gazed upon her and that teasing loaded wink he'd left her with. Jane's eyes darted around the crowd, concerned one amongst the thousands had shared in their secret. They hadn't. Everyone was in their own frenzy of having their idol right in front of them. Everyone expect Emma.

Emma stood almost stock still, her eyes travelling back and forth between Jane and where Gary had been stood on the stage moments before. It wasn't the first time Emma had seen Gary acknowledge her friend in a crowd but there was something different this time, something Emma couldn't quite put her finger on. And whilst Emma could spend the next two hours trying to figure out what was most likely nothing, she preferred to focus her attention on the shortest member of the band as she threw her arms in the air and sang along loudly.

Jane watched attentively from the third row. Her eyes following every move Gary made on stage. He was captivating to watch. He moved confidently; sang perfectly, his voice so soothing like sweet honey trickling down her body and pooling between her legs. His voice alone was enough to turn her on but combined with those black tight fitting trousers and a white shirt that barely contained his impressive chest she was almost ready to burst.

Gary shot frequent glances over to Jane. She was much more animated now, she sang every word, knew all the moves. Her mesmerising smile never leaving her face. There were 12,458 people in this arena and overwhelmingly he wanted to perform to only her. He needed to check himself. His mind was running away with his rapidly beating heart. She was a fan. He knew so little about her; her name was Jane and she was a great lay. That was it. Hardly a solid foundation for a meaningful relationship. He needed to stop his internal monologue before he verbalised his thoughts to an arena full of people. He forced himself to look away, anywhere than at her. He needed to focus but his mouth couldn't keep up with his mind and he stumbled over his words as he introduced Today I Lost You.

                                       ***

Jane knew the song of course, she'd known every word since 1993. She'd listened to it on repeat, she'd even sung it to one of the many posters that had adorned her teenage bedroom, but the lyrics, his voice, seemed to resonate more with her now than they had ever done before. There was an intensity about him. He meant every word he sang.

"Why can't I wake up with you..." Gary projected to the back of the arena, making almost every women in the audience quiver, deluding themselves in to believing he was singing to them.

"...So you're there when I open my eyes..." his gaze was no longer at the back of the room. It was on her. In the third row. Red.

His voice was smooth, his green eyes boring in to her hazel ones, almost reprimanding her for leaving before he woke the first night they'd spent together. His gaze was insistent and loaded, causing Jane's cheeks flush in response. She nodded, almost imperceptibly. If he wanted her to stay, she'd stay. Hell, if he asked her to recreate their afternoon together on that stage right now, she'd easily agree.

If Gary was worried he was too subtle, he needn't have been. She understood. He saw the surrender in her eyes and grinned, satisfied that he wasn't going to wake up alone the next morning.