The Reason I Love You (JakeDirk)

Part Three: Carpe Diem

Nothing could bring Dirk to stop his tears. He sat down, his head held low as he cried into Jake's burly chest, spindly arms holding his own chest as he shook in the sofa. His eyes were full of water and his chest was full of emptiness. He felt so alone, with Jake right next to him. But when Jake finally wrapped his strong arms around Dirk's fragile body, he found himself at peace. Dirk Strider had waited for this, to feel cared for. He had waited to feel loved again. His robots were a distraction to him, and his real situation. Jake was the answer.

Jake, on the other hand, found himself in a distraction. That's what Dirk had always been, a distraction from the real-ness of the world. Being without him had been a mistake; he was better distracted. But he knew that it wouldn't last, that first time. He knew that it would be a temporary solution to a much bigger problem.

But now the problem was gone. The world was theirs. And Jake, in the position he was, saw it.

Carpe Diem

Seize the day

There was an old movie that once said to seize the day, Jake remembers it now. And there was a scene where the boy says carpe diem and kisses the girl, but Jake can't remember the name of it for the life of him. So when Jake wrapped his arms around Dirk, he whispered the exact same thing.

"Carpe Diem," he spoke, smiling as a tear trailed down his face. Dirk looked up at Jake, seeing his crying. He heard it as Jake spoke the phrase again, his eyes welling up even more.

Dirk remembered the movie. It was called Dead Poets Society. A beautiful movie about poetry and devotion. Robin Williams. A very old movie his bro once owned. "Seize the day" Dirk relayed, smiling at Jake, sadly.

Jake brought dirks face up to meet his. His hand was shaky but strong. "You promise me, you promise, you will eat what I cook." His voice is small, his eyes glowing green. The very same green Dirk had first seen within them when they had met. The glow of adventure.

Dirk nodded.

"Good." And before anyone would have known it, his lips were on Dirk's, but just for a second. Just for a moment, so he could feel again. So he could see Dirk as Dirk again. So he could breathe without feeling alone, without feeling desperate, without feeling caged.

He felt himself return in that brief kiss, Jake did. He knew nothing of why it did, but he was himself once more.

Dirk was limp. His legs felt as if they were wet pasta and his eyes were wide. But he asked none of the million questions between his ears. He just felt. He soaked it all in, eyes closed and breath steady. He wanted this. He wanted to feel Jake's presence with him. He wanted just to be, not to understand.

"Carpe Diem, " Jake thought, "Seize the day"