Falling that is what I would describe it as. I fell, I fell in to a hole rite into the center of the earth and no matter what I do I am stuck. It's like trying to swim through huney wail you watch other people swim fast and carelessly. I feel hopeless like no matter what I do where I go I will never get out. And the majority of friends and family don't know I have it, depression. The word itself already knocks you down. It feels like a hard punch in the atomic that is almost never expected. None wants to surround themselves with a downer, but what it you knew that spending even 5 minutes just talking can help so much. You don't feel alone. Also everyone assumes that since I am happy on the outside everything is sunshine and rainbows at home and on the inside. You don't know what is going on with someone until you get close to them, and it takes a while because this person has been hurt so many tines they don't trust. They can't afford to be hurt because they are already so frail.
