is there somewhere

4

If your reading this you might get confused because this is a continuation from @radchloe book "is there somewhere" because that was my account and I tried and tried to get in but in short, I couldn't. So this might be confusing if you don't read the first 3 chapters from there. Thank you for reading this lol ily all :)
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Chapter 4//

I tucked my vibrant hair behind my ear and sighed in frustration. Things were so complicated now. I wish everything was like before- just me and him, no one getting in between. And even if he didn't love me the way I loved him, at least I could be with him and have fun. I was back in my neighbourhood now; I finished my whole rant to Jenna and she told me to just leave it be and see how it goes and we parted ways. I was in the park now, alone on the swings. I plugged in my headphones into my phone and decided on listening to Frank Ocean. "Ivy" came on.
Kids rarely came here to this playground- this park was crap. They usually went to the other park just around the corner where there were better quality slides and all sorts of things, but I didn't care though- at least I could think alone.

"We'll never be those kids again"

The lyrics rang in my ears. Music really speaks to me- that's exactly how i feel right now. We won't be those kids again;not ever. It was so innocent and fun back when we were little.

It was getting pretty dark outside now. I looked up to the indigo sky and puffed the smoke into the air. It was dead silent, only hearing the leaves brushing against each other slowly from the fall breeze. It smelt of rain.
I kept listening to the song listening to every lyric. His work is incredible- I hope I would become as amazing as him one day. I wanted to become a singer and maybe meet him- I did a few songs covers here and there. I got thousands of views though but I couldn't believe it. Most of my videos were horrible quality and I was a mess. I laughed quietly to myself recalling all the videos I ever uploaded.

"I had no chance to prepare I couldn't see you coming"

"Light one up and hand it over" I heard someone say. I noticed who it was immediately, and I didn't even have to look to know it was. His deep voice replayed in my ears. He's always here when I need him, even if I don't call for him but, seconds not the same. She'll always come first- no matter what.
"Hey" I said after a while, I handed him a cigarette. "Wanna talk about it?" I knew that something must've gotten wrong- I knew him way too well. He was more quiet then usual, and the obvious reason- he wasn't with Hannah anymore. They most likely got in to some stupid fight like always, and he comes to me and I comfort him. Then i give him advice and they get back together like nothing happened.
It's always the same. I'll always be that friend.
"Nah" he responded. He settled in the forest green swings beside mine and blew a puff of smoke into my face. We sat in silence for a couple of moments, and before I knew he rested his head upon my shoulder sighing.
"You know she's not good for you but you still keep coming back" I told Michael.
"I know" He responded. "But she's also good for me too, you know?"

No, I thought. I didn't say that out loud though, for it wouldn't help the situation and it wouldn't make things better. I took the earphones out from the headphone jack so that the song could play out loud. I needed to break the silence though it wasn't really awkward- if anything if was comfortable. We were together, alone, with only each other like the old days.

"We both know that deep down, the feelings deep down"  the music played.

This is how it's supposed to be.
I looked up to meet his eyes and we kept our gazes locked for a few seconds then I turned back to my cigarette and dragged another puff. If I kept at this any longer I don't think I could stop myself from showing him how I really felt about him. I was crazy about him.

We talked and joked at the park longer then we intended. The dim lights from the black lamp posts cast shadows on our figures. We turned the corner to our street. Our houses were only a handful of houses apart so I could basically come to his house anytime I wanted. I grinned to myself knowing that we were always there for each other. We had so much fun back then.

I walked him to his porch.
"Hey remember that time in like 8th grade when we had that overnight trip and I snuck into the boys hall and into your hotel room and I got caught and had to lie to the counsellors saying I was a boy?" I asked him.
He started laughing loudly. It was a musical sound. God, this boy.

I remember both of us dancing in our tube socks, in his hotel room. The memory was fresh, every detail was clear.

"Yeah I remember. It was Luke and me in there and they even believed you because you were really short and you had a boyish haircut" he chuckled.
I giggled. "I didn't know any better! How was I supposed to know you can't cut your own hair if your inexperienced?"
We both laughed at that while he jiggled his keys into the door.
"We have way too many memories together" he replied.
I laughed but was stopped shortly after I saw a figure in his house. I stopped smiling and now stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Hannah" Michael breathed.
She had red in her cheeks, cause were something she can't see. If she was just jealous, it was over nothing, really. She's just mad because we were childhood friends.
She had a really big knit sweater on over with a baggy shirt and her hair was a mess. She looked like she was gonna burst of anger and tears, but still somehow looked good for some reason though.
"Mikey" she said softly.
I stood in place at the front door steps.
"What are you doing here, Hannah?" He said firmly. I could tell he was trying his best to hold back.
"Hey Michael maybe I should just go I'll see you late-" I started but got cut off by him.
"No, no that's alright. Stay" He said to me."
Stunned and surprised, I obeyed not moving a muscle.
"So, answer my question" Michael turned his focus on her face trying not to show his hurt emotions. The fight must've been worse then normal.
Hannah didn't even complain about me standing here, listening in to the conversation. She was putting on her angel act too. Something must've gone wrong.
"Well, I was um" She started. "I was coming over here to surprise you and apologize about what I said earlier. I-I feel terrible about it, but uh i guess I caught you at the wrong time" She stuttered, indirectly talking about me, but not even glancing to my face. She stared at Mike longingly. At this point, i couldn't tell if this was another one of her acts or not.

"Sorry. I can't take this right now. Maybe we can talk some other time. Just- could you please leave?" He gestured his hands around and to the door.
"I- what?" She was surprised. But then again, so was I. This must've been very bad. Michael was always quick to forgive and was calm and cool. This was not the time for me to be here.
I stepped back to let Hannah walk out the door. She looked like she was gonna cry. She stopped abruptly to give a quick dirty look before she stormed off elsewhere.

The door was still wide open when I saw Mikey move to the couch in the living room, and sat down, putting his head in his hands. The kitchen lights from behind made shadows bounce on the tan walls.

I was about to turn and leave to get to my house when I heard his voice say something I thought he wouldn't have.

"Wait, can you maybe stay here the night?"