Wrong Girl

Chapter Seventeen

Two weeks later...

Fourteen days. That's how long it's been since my emotional breakdown on the floor of my bathroom. Fourteen days since I spoke to Zack and fourteen days since I last saw him. Fourteen days since the confrontation with my mother and fourteen days since I fled.

I've been hiding out at Audrey's for the past two weeks, refusing to get in contact with anyone. It's as though I've somehow managed to cut myself off from the rest of the world, I've isolated myself to the point that I'm now too terrified to return.

I left my apartment two weeks ago and came straight here. I turned up in the middle of the night on my boss's doorstep, frozen, destroyed and utterly bewildered as to how I even got there. She ushered me in and ran me a hot bath before forcing me to eat something small. She then put me to bed and let me sleep for twelve hours. I woke up the next day around noon wondering where the hell I was.

Audrey sat with me for the remainder of the day, offering me her kindness, understanding, compassion and empathy. She proved to me what a remarkable woman she really is and I know I will never be able to repay her kindness. She eventually convinced me to send Rachel a text, letting her know that I'm ok and not to worry about my whereabouts. I really didn't want to contact anyone but knew that if I didn't there was every chance that Rachel or even Zack would phone the police and report me missing.

I made sure that the text message to my sister was concise and straight to the point, informing her that I once again needed some space and was staying with a friend for a few days until I figured things out. I told her not to worry and that I would be in touch when I was ready, I asked her to give me some space and respect my decision. I purposefully switched my phone off after I sent that text and haven't switched it on since. I also knew that Rachel might turn up at my work asking for me and for that reason Audrey allowed me to take even more time off.

I've been spending the majority of my days indoors, watching daytime TV and waiting for Audrey to get home from work. We've been out for a meal and to the cinema a couple of times but that's about it.

I dream about him every single night. I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding inside my chest, sometimes even calling out his name. Most nights I soak my pillow from all the tears I've shed and deliberately refrain from looking at myself in the mirror the next day. My eyes are permanently red and swollen from the amount of hours I spend crying. However, the dream I had last night was the worst one yet.

I dreamt about the wedding. In my dream I was stood there in my dress, behind my sister as I watched her make her vows to the man I loved. I kept trying to make him look at me but refused, staring blankly ahead at his wife-to-be. It came to the inevitable and infamous moment when the registrar asks if there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not lawfully be married. As the officiant asked the congregation to speak up or forever hold their peace, I tried my hardest to open my mouth and say something but for some reason I physically couldn't. My lips were sewn together and I could not utter a single word to try and stop the ceremony. Zack was declaring his undying love for Rachel and I was powerless to stop it. My arms were glued to my sides so I couldn't even distract him, I was completely invisible to him.

That was the moment I woke up, breathless and frozen with fear. My nightmare left me feeling exhausted and that's why I haven't done much today. It's Saturday and I felt bad for Audrey being stuck indoors with me again and that's why I convinced her to go out and meet up with a friend she's been meaning to visit. We're supposed to be going out to eat later on tonight when she gets back and even though I'm not entirely sure I can be bothered I'm determined to make the effort for Audrey's sake.

I'm currently curled up on the sofa watching one of my favourite movies in the world, 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.' I've already watched 'Moulin Rouge' which I knew would reduce me to tears and of course it did. I'm completely lost in the movie when I hear the front doorbell ring. I glance at the clock on the mantelpiece, realising its far too early for Audrey to be back from her friend's house yet. Deciding to ignore it and thinking it will only be a door-to-door salesman, I turn the TV up, wanting to block out the sound of the outside world. It's only when I hear Rachel's voice through the letterbox that I jump up out of my seat, my heart thumping against my chest.