Scotland x Reader| All my fault

My name is _______ and this is the story how I fell head over heals, and slowly lost it all, people might say it was his fault, but I could never blame him for what happened to me, I could only blame fate. For fate maybe cruel and may work in mysterious ways, but always is kind in the end.

I met him when we were both kids and after high school I went off to college and lost touch with him but fate was kind and brought us together. After our exchange of stories, I figured out after high school everything went down hill, his father died, his mother fell into depression, all of his brothers ran off even sweat little Arthur, then he got addicted to smoking he told me it seemed to lift the stress of his shoulders, took him some place peaceful, even tho it would end up killing him, he wouldn't couldn't stop. But we made plans to meet up later so maybe there's hope.

Realizing that it was a date 30 minutes after we met up we started talking and I became more nervous, this is really my first actual date and with my childhood friend too. But it wasn't that bad, we played bored games and cracked jokes like we did when we were kids.

After our second date I became more comfortable around him. Finals interrupted any of our other plans but once there done there done. Then in the middle of my studying he came knocking on my door and before I could say 'Come in' he grabbed my hands and kissed me, I've never felt happier, then he told me he didn't want me to be like everyone else in his life he doesn't want me to go.

I'm sorry I lost you, but you'll never believe what happen he proposed, and hes even trying to give up smoking for our future family, my doctor called me this morning saying she has some news, oh please tell me we starting our new family now I can wait.....................I cant believe it, no this cant be happening, the ring on my finger has become heavier, no, no, no, the the doctors found something on my right lung, god how could this happen, how will I tell him after hes lost everything, he finally got something back and now hes going to lose it. The doctors told me that they found a tumor on my right lung, why is it that the skys that were blue and full of happiness now grey and lifeless, why is everything just slipping through my fingers. My worst fear isn't of death, no, its of leaving him alone again.

I've been in the hospital now for 8 months 15 days 7 hours 34 minutes and screw second. The nurses told me that I couldn't be saved, I would just die. I feel so bad that I cant get out of bed. I'm having difficulty breathing, and i'm starting to look more like Casper the friendly ghosts long lost sister, all life is drained from my body but the worst of it all, the doctors found the cause of the tumor, it is from inhaling 2nd hand smoke, I've decided to keep this from him, if he knew it would destroy him. So now I guess it a waiting game now and if I don't have a chance to say this I love you, Allist-

  I read her last entry as they pulled the blanket over her body. The pages soaked with tears from the both of us. "I'm sorry, _____, I'm so sorry" a nurse tried to console me but I didnt hear a word of it. As I walked out of the hospital my phone rang but I ignored it. 'How could I have bean so careless' 'idiot' 'pathetic' those words kept roaring through my head. My phone ringing non stop at this point, so I answer it "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" I only wanted to be left alone... "Allistor...?" Arthur... "I heard what happened, I'm sorry...If you want you can sta-" as I hung up the phone it started to rain and I couldn't hold it in any more I broke down crying my vision clouded by my own guilt and sorrow, I could feel people staring-no judging me but I blocked them out...and then a car horn blared, I looked up to see nothing but a blinding light, then her.

Fate maybe cruel and may work in mysterious ways, but always is kind in the end.