Ah, tis the season to be jolly. The season where sweet mint candy, sugar cookies, turkey and ham fill the air. Where busy shoppers make their final purchases and carols are heard from all ends. Where red and green seem to become national colours and maybe some lucky lovers may find a convenient mistletoe hanging in a doorway. Yes, Christmas time. I mean who doesn't love Christmas? Apart from the jam-packed malls, the rush of buying gifts to show people that you care, the expenses of doing so, the baking, the burning of tons of ingredients and the genocide of whoever dares to let their taste buds come in contact with your one cousin's cookies who swears by the stars that she's getting her life together. Don't forget those awkward family get-togethers where your uncle drinks just a little too much. Yep, Christmas, who doesn't love Christmas?
Taylor was snapped out her thoughts as her art teacher plopped a book in front her. An assignment, a Christmas assignment. They had to make a wreath in the next month in time for end of term. Well, what a way to bring in the season.
It wasn't even Christmas yet. Sabrina groaned and pushed the book closer to Taylor. She didn't care what holiday it was. Work and holidays should never mix. NEVER. Taylor giggled watching her disgust. Imagine a Christmas with her though, she smiled to herself. Mistletoe couldn't hurt if it came early. Maybe this wasn't so bad she thought.
Taylor sat across the class, her book up to her face and her hand busy along the page at the back of her book. Her eyes rose and fell as she tried to put pen to paper, spill her guts on her paper, seep her emotions on lines, make sense of what she felt. Unknowing to her was Sabrina also dealing with her own internal struggle, her fingertips barely touching the screen of her kindle trying to find a way to say how she felt. The internal struggles are the hardest to bear.
Taylor sighed as she threw her cover over her head as though she was throwing in the towel of trying to understand. However, what was there that she didn't know? It was obvious how she felt. The feelings and guilt were eating away at her like the parasites they were. Sucking the life out her to fuel their needs. Not to mention the crippling anxiety that came with being found out. They needed to be made known and soon. But how? Circumstances don't just allow these kinds of things to happen and to put it at it's simplest Taylor's circumstances were as bad as they got. Ah the bitter taste of not being accepted for things beyond your control. Because in this world love has to be kept in the darkness of night in old forgotten hotel rooms and secret hiding places for it is shunned and unacceptable while hate is kept in the light of day for it is common and now has become a custom. Hate is broad-casted over the world and cheered on but love is met with disgusted stares and guns and smoke bombs to separate us from the truth, that love has no definite formula or rules, love is meant to break boundaries.
She pulled her cover off her head, if only people could just understand.
Taylor's POV
Clueless, according to the Oxford dictionary it means having no knowledge, understanding or ability.
Awkward on the other hand has a whole host of definitions. It could mean causing difficulty, she caused me difficulty, difficulty to breathe, difficulty to stay calm, difficulty to speak normally. I doubt that's what they meant however. It could also mean not smooth or ungraceful. Well she was extremely clumsy and somehow hurt herself in all sorts of manners but she could be pretty smooth sometimes when she'd use pickup lines on me. It made me wonder if maybe somewhere she had some feelings for me. A lovely thought but it had nothing much to justify it.
No matter what dictionary you want to take it from when both clueless, and i mean utterly, without a doubt, hopelessly, no way to help clueless and awkward are fused into a person, you really have a thick skull on your hands. Social cues aren't picked up on because they are just "too complicated" and "confusing" and "just saying what you mean makes more sense". The cards have to be laid out in front them and even when they are they just can't seem to get it. Not to mention the, "contrary to plutonic" feelings that are just too difficult to say. But its best to try and fail than fail to try right?
