I Guess I'm Stuck With You

Chapter 4: In Which They're Finally Honest

1:23 PM

Jordan and I sat in silence, as we had done for the last half hour. His words echoed in my mind.
"But she broke mine first." What did he mean by that? The way Lizzy had described things, Jordan had been the one to break things off, leaving her behind in the dust, and me to gather the pieces. She had never said said anything about hurting him.
"You don't believe me, do you." Jordan blurted out, the first words he had spoken since our arguement. I turn to him, quirking a tiny smile.
"I-I'm not quite sure what to believe." I admit, and he nods.
"I wouldn't either," he mumbled, "You two are best friends right?" I nod. "That explains it then."
"Its just...I mean, she told me that you were the one who broke up with her." I say, watching his face carefully. His expression remained impassive.
"I did break up with her," he says, "I'm not denying that. But she's the reason why I did it. It's not like I met someone and that's why I broke up with her, ok?" He gives me a look. "And I know you won't believe me Gels, but I'm not a total asshole." I give a small laugh and Jordan cracks a tiny smile.
"Well, you act like one," I state, tilting my head to the side.
"Because that's what I want people to see."
"Yeah, but mentioning Ajax?" I say, shaking my head. "That's low...I mean, you don't even know me too well Jordan." He sighs.
"Yeah I'm sorry about that," he begins, and I look at him surprised. From my understanding, Jordan was not one to apologize. "It's just, well I knew it was a sensitive spot for you, and you really hurt my ego," he explains. "My acne...it's a sensitive topic...it's all some people ever seem to notice about me." Immediately I feel guilty for bringing it up earlier. I place a hand on his shoulder, and he turns to look at me, evidently surprised by the contact.
"I'm sorry about bringing it up..."I mutter, patting his shoulder. "I didn't realize it was a sensitive topic."
"It's ok."he mumbles.
"Well, if it helps, I actually think you're a 7.6" I admit, and he smiles.
"7.6?" he chuckles. "You're just saying that to make me feel better." I roll my eyes. Of course when I try to compliment him, he doesn't believe me.
"Yeah, honest!" I confessed, and he shakes his head.
"Nah." he scoffs.
"No you're pretty cute, especially when you smile, you know." I say, and Jordan starts to smile at me.
"Really?" he teased, raising an eyebrow. "I'm cute when I smile?" He points his thumb and places it under his chin. "Huh, just like this?" He asks. I laugh, and smack his arm.
"Don't you dare use that against me ok!" I laugh. I was glad that things seemed to be pretty light again. And that Jordan seemed to be acting better than normal for once. But we were getting away from the topic I originally wanted to talk about.
"No promises," he teases. We laugh for a while before we finally regain our composure.
"But...Jordan...what did happen between you and Lizzy?" I question. Jordan sighs.
"You're never going to drop it if I don't tell you, will you." he mutters. I shake my head. "It's less complicated than you think it is."
"Well then, it won't take too long to tell me." I say.
"Someone...some girl told me that she was just using me." he confesses, and I suck in a breath. "That she just wanted a boyfriend."
"That isn't true!" I exclaimed. "She really liked you, I mean the summer you first got together, she wouldn't stop raving about you!" I argued, and he looked at me with a sad expression.
"I knew that Gels. I was her best friend before we were ever in a relationship, so I already knew that." I stay silent, watching him fiddle with his fingers. "But it made me start thinking, you know. It made me really think about our relationship. And, I mean, you never went to our school, so you wouldn't know, but I was always the one who initated the conversations. I was always the first one to say something, always the first one to show affection. She told you, right, I was the one who said I liked her first? Who asked her out on the last day of school with a whole damn bouquet and everything?" Jordan's voice cracks as he explains this, and what he says makes me think. Lizzy did tell me that Jordan had been the first to ever say anything about his feelings.
"But was that the only reason you broke up with her? You didn't give her a chance to explain, or a chance for you two to make it right?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"No, I tried Angelica! Believe me, I tried!" he yells. " I told her how I felt...but she...she never did anything. I put up the happy front. But on the inside, I was dying, always dying. I gave her a chance, I wanted us to talk about it, for her to say something! But...she never tried with me. And when I ignored her because I was upset, I felt like the biggest jackass in the world. I thought if I stayed quiet, maybe she'd approach me and talk about it..."
"But she didn't" I concluded, and Jordan nodded.
"She didn't do a single thing. Lizzy completed ignored everything I said, and she continued on like nothing had ever happened, like I had never said anything. And...it broke me." he confessed. I bit my lip as I watched him explain, brutally honest about what had happened. And he was hurting, that was obvious. He looked up at me, eyes filled with an emotion I had never seen before . Or maybe, it was an emotion I chose not to see. "That's why I did it. That's why I ended it. As much as it hurt...I knew it was for the best."
"Oh God, Jordan, I...I'm sorry, I didn't know...she never told me-" I began, and Jordan shakes his head.
"It's...ok Angelica."he reassures me. "I'm the only one here who should be feeling sorry." He joked.
"Yeah, its just I can't believe that Lizzy never told me." I mutter.
"She saw it from her own perspective, I guess." he remarked, and I shake my head.
"You're defending her."
"She's still my friend Gels."
"And she's mine, but she never told me about this."
"So what, does it totally ruin the friendship?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I falter, running a hand thorugh my hair.
"I...I mean no...she's one of my best friends. But...it does put some things into question."
"You barely know me Angelica. For all you know, I could be lying." I give him a look, and raise an eyebrow.
"Well, I don't think you are." I stare at him for a few moments in silence. He gives me a tiny smile as he runs a hand through his hair.
"Don't feel sorry for me," he says, and I scoff at him. "Don't deny it, I can see it in your face." I roll my eyes. Was I really that easy to read?
"Well at least you have a love life." I confess, and Jordan's expression immediately lightens up a little. "I haven't had a mutual crush in forever."
"What about Ajax though?" he asks. I turn and glare daggers at Jordan. "Sorry..." he mutters, and I roll my eyes.
"No...i-it's fine." I finally make out. He raises an eyebrow.
"Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." he stammers, looking at me reassuringly. I let out a shaky breath.
"You...told me about Lizzy...I think it's ok if I tell you about Ajax then." He nods slowly. " But you better not tell anyone!" I warn, and he let's out a small smile.
"As long as you don't say anything about Lizzy."
"Ok, deal."
"Ok." I bite my lip and stare at him for a moment. I had no idea why I was about to tell him about me and Ajax. It was just...for some reason I felt I could trust him. Jordan quirks a smile, and then...I don't know what happened, but butterflies erupted in my stomach. "Well," he says expectantly, "Are you gonna tell me or what?" I shake my head, clearing my thoughts. What on earth was I thinking? I pushed down the strange fluttery feeling in my stomach and cleared my throat.
"Um...yeah, well you could say it started in sixth grade..." I begin.
Jordan nods his head, smiling at me reassuringly. I clear my those, pushing up my glasses, still not entirely sure why I was telling him everything. But when he looked at me like that? Everything in the elevator came in to focus.