Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 31: Him

I made my way outside to get some trash out. I've had a great time and I can't stop myself from smiling knowing that it isn't over yet. I love how I spent time with Kristen and my mother learning how to cook and we all had dinner together. I thought it was lame to hang out with women before, but now I think spending time with them is a lot more fun. The fun we had was really great. I had a good laugh, and I enjoyed the food we made. Never in my life had I thought I'd be able to learn how to cook. My mum had taught me quite a lot of times before, but I sucked every time. It's so funny to think that Kristen only taught me once and she let me do it all and it turned out really good. I just love spending time with her. She makes everything better.

I breathed in some cool air and looked up at the sky before heading back inside. It's already dark and in any moment Kristen will head back home, so I really need to spend some more time with her. I walked back to the kitchen and heard some little talks. My mum and Kristen is having some little chit chat. I didn't want to come in and interrupt but...

"Cal?" Kristen chuckled lightly. "He's a nice person."

I was never the person who eavesdrop to anyone's conversations about anything. But curiosity grew on me the moment I heard my name. What were they talking about? Why did I hear my name? And why did she chuckled that way?

I walked closer to the kitchen and tried to hide myself beside the door as much as I could. I stayed there and listened closely.

"I never thought Calum would be able to make the sauce that perfect. Whenever I teach him how to cook, we always just end up fighting because he always fail, and never trying anymore. I can always see him here in the kitchen whenever he's not doing something. He always tries to cook. But today's the first time he actually impressed me."

My mom stated and I rolled my eyes and smiled to myself. If someone's really in total disbelief from what I just did, it's probably me. I couldn't even last ten minutes in the kitchen before.

"He seem to suck at everything." Kristen said and chuckled again, making me listen closely. "I once taught him how to skate- yes, uhm, well I skate- and there he was really excited about it so we walked to the park after school. I needed to position his feet and legs so he won't fall but he keeps insisting he's good so I just let him. When he started moving I thought he would be a better skater than me, but bam! He bumped into something and fell."

They both laughed in unison and I just want to come there and defend myself, but I couldn't. As much as I want to join the conversation, I want to keep their own conversation about me going although all I hear about me isn't really nice. Well all of them are true though.

"You make him happy, dear. I have never seen him like this before. He's way beyond happy."

"Me? Oh uhm, Calum's just really a giddy person."

"You make him happy as much as I can see you being happy with him."

Kristen didn't reply with my mother's statement. I wanted to see how she reacted at everything she heard. It's all true. She makes me happy. Happy in a way that I couldn't care less about anything anymore. Unlike before, that I feel like I have to please everyone before considering myself happy. She makes me feel great, and I couldn't ask for more than that. I just hope she feels the same.

"I'm truly happy that you and my son are together." My mum said and I felt my body tensed up. I don't know if we still have to run the fake relationship here. I want to come up there and tell her we're not dating, but my inner self is stopping me. I don't want to lie to my mother, but hearing someone especially her liking the thought of us being together makes my heart flutter. I don't know if it's really manly to say that but, it's what I feel. I guess love can really do weird shit to any people.

"Oh uhm we're not-"

"You're the first girl he has ever brought here to meet me." My mum paused and I could sense her smiling. "And I know for a fact that I already like you, Kristen."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hood. I like you and your son too."

I wanted to jump. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run around. Am I only dreaming? I pinched myself. No I'm not. I just heard it all from her and I couldn't stop myself. My heart feels like it's gonna come out of my chest from beating rapidly and uneven. I can't stop smiling and my face is starting to hurt. She likes me. Oh god.

But what could that really mean? I don't want to expect at anything then get hurt by my own bullshit. I'll just settle with the fact that she likes me. That's just it. For now. No expectations. I need to calm down.

I realized I've been hiding behind the door for minutes and they had stopped talking so I guess I have to come out and show up. They might think I was listening, even though I really was.

"You guys done yet?" I walked closer and stood between them while doing the dishes. Kristen looked cute with her hair up in a messy bun and she's wearing an apron. I smiled at her, she smiled back.

"We're almost done. What took you so long?" My mum asked and my eyes widened.

"Oh uh-" I bit my lip. "I needed some fresh air."

"Kristen are you going home already?" I added, trying to avoid the subject.

"Well if you guys have some other things to do I wouldn't really mind to-"

"Can you come with me?" I asked, cutting her off.

"Go on with him hun, I can finish this." Mum took the cloth from her and she smiled as she took off her apron.

Kristen turned to me as we walk out of the kitchen. "Where are we going?" She asked.

"Just follow me." I said and winked.

"Again?" She replied and smiled.

"Yes."


*


I placed the blanket on the ground and sat down. We're on the upper part of my house, or the rooftop to be specific. I didn't want to go anywhere anymore not only because we only have few more hours to spend together, but because I loved the thought of her being in my own house. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The way she bonded with my mother is now my favorite thing. I love her being here. I love being with her in any time.

"You can sit down." I suggested and she did, still looking around. She had been doing that since we got here this afternoon, with some look in her eyes that I couldn't seem to read. It's saddening to know that she could be thinking some other things that's keeping her quiet, but I didn't want to ask her about it at the moment, as much as I want to. I want to know what's always bothering her. I want to help her in any way I could. I always want to protect her, to be with her all the time she needs someone. I don't like seeing her down. I always want to keep her happy as much as I can.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She turned to look at me and smiled. "Just- just really happy."

"Why so?" I uttered.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I don't know," She smiled and looked up. "I honestly couldn't explain how I feel. All I know is, I'm happy and that's just it. I couldn't worry about anything. It's like they all faded away from my head for a while. I'm just really happy."

If there is something I could ask for, that would be to keep her like this. I wish I have known her before. If I was there when she needed someone, I could have made her happy in any way. She's always guarding herself up and not letting anyone in. She have never been friends with anyone at school before and now I somehow understand everything. If she'd let me, I want to put her missing puzzle pieces back. I want to break her walls and know everything to keep her happy. She seems so lost and drowned, and seeing her like that just saddens me.

"You can always talk to me." I admitted.

"Thank you." She turned to look at me and smiled. I did the same thing.

She lie down and I joined in. We stayed their staring at the sky above, keeping ourselves in our own thoughts.

"Just so you know," she paused. "You have done so much for me. And I couldn't thank you enough for that. I never even thought, especially someone so popular like you would even dare to try and talk to me. But you're here, and I just- I don't know, Cal. You might not understand but, really, thank you. Thank you so much."

I wasn't looking at her but I can see her on my left side, secretly wiping a tear that rolled down from her eyes. I smiled at the thought of it being a happy tear. I am happy to know I could make her happy. She's going through something I don't know, but I respect that if she can't tell me. I'm just always ready to listen if she wanted to pour her heart out. I've never seen her like this. Happy, weak, sad, and mixed up. If I can just let her know now, I'd tell her what she means to me. I'd tell her I will always be here to stand up for her. I'd tell her everything. But I guess this isn't just the right time.

We remained silent and I took the chance. I held her hand. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing or not. I didn't know what I had to say. She might pull away or scream at me for doing this. That's just how I know her. But surprisingly, she didn't. She held my hands back and started rubbing her thumb gently into mine. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. I love this. I love us.

"Kristen?" I muttered.

"Hmm?" She replied.

"Are you uhm- free? Tomorrow?" I asked, stuttering a bit.

She chuckled lightly. "When was the time I was busy at weekends? I've got nothing to do, as usual. Why?"

"Remember how you keep saying you'll watch me and my band practice some other time?" I turned to look at her on my left, still holding her hand.

"Yeah?"

"Can that some other time be tomorrow?"

"You promise you won't suck?" She grinned at me.

"I promise."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Where?" She asked, turning to look at me again.

"At Ashton's. I'll pick you up by 3."

"Can I just skate my way there? You kidnapped my board for ages and I just miss skating." She retorted with a chuckle.

"If you say so." I chuckled.

Her hand in mine, my hand in hers. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what this is. What could this be?

"I think I should go now, Cal. It's almost 10." She stated, startling me from my own thought.

"I'll walk you home."

She didn't say any word anymore and let go of my hand. I wonder when I'll be able to do it again. It seems too hard to do it, even though everyone knows we're dating. We know for a fact that we're not. And if I held her hand again without anyone around, it would mean something different to her. And it scares me. I don't want her to stay away from me.

We walked back down and she kissed my mom goodnight and goodbye. The look on her face is starting to change from being giddy and happy into a frown. I ignored it and remained smiling. As I promised, I will always keep her happy. I can't be sad if I have to do that.

We went out of the house and the familiar cold air welcomed us. I was already wearing a hoodie and a beanie, so Kristen had to take some time to get all warmed up before we started walking.

"Let's go?" She came up to me, smiling. I looked at her with her dark blue beanie and my jacket. She seemed to love it. She's not giving it back to me, and I want her to keep it. It's like she's keeping a piece of me. I want her to find some peace within it.

"Let's go." I smiled and walked with her.

I love us.