How I Lost You.

Its About Time.

"Crying doesn't make me feel better anymore. I guess I am just so used to crying that it is just like breathing. Its normal"
-Unknown

Martin's POV
December 2016

"Martin once you're done making that Sandwich you're free to go home." My manager finally yelled from the back of the building. Which meant that finally I could get out and finally go home to sleep.

When I finally finished making the rest of the sandwich and told the customer to have a great night, I clocked out, grabbed my phone off of the charger and headed out the back door. "Baby!" Selena yelled from the car as I was jumping in the passenger seat.

"-but I promise you we will have such a great time." I'd zoned out and had completely missed everything she'd said to me within the past fifteen minutes. "I'm sorry Lena, I zoned out for all of that." Selena threw a glare my way while driving. "What I said is that we're going out tonight. You know, to Kasey's birthday party." She had a short voice, so I could tell that today was gonna be that way for the rest of the night.

We pulled into her driveway so she could change her clothes and shower. I hopped out of the car and grabbed my pack of smokes out of my back pocket. Now I could go on a walk and smoke a few by myself for a little while.

I walked a few minutes into the woods and came across a little pond, sitting down and lighting my cigarette, something fell out of my pocket and landed on the ground next to me. It was my ring of course, a reminder of her. A reminder that I'd hurt someone who cared about me. I sat there for a minute examining it in my hand, putting it on my ring finger. I could practically hear her voice.

"I hope you like it, it symbolizes not only our relationship, but also our friendship. It's a promise to each other that we will always be apart if each others lives, even if we aren't together anymore."

She'd bought it for me last Christmas, and I bought one for her too. "Martin! We have to go!" Selena yelled for me from the house, I quickly shoved it in my pocket and put out my cigarette headed back that way.

Kasey's house was the same as always. The music was loud, there was a fire roasting in the front and back yard, people were literally scattered all over the place, some people were sitting outside while others were in the warm house.

"Martin! Martin, come look at what Kasey did to her car!!" Selena had run off and had been talking to Kasey and Jake, while I went inside to find some alcohol. I was never a big fan of drinking to the point of being sloppy, but tonight was different. Tonight I wanted to forget it all.

For the rest of the night I had drink after drink. There was Jim, Jager, Jake, Hose and other unknown drinks. They just kept coming, and I just kept taking them too. I knew that at this point, Selena would be pissed, so I might as well keep them coming.

"Se..se...Selenaaaa." I slurred my words and threw my arms around my girlfriends neck. "You're kidding right?" She threw me off of her and continued to talk to her friends. "Baaby, why won't you l..l..love me?" Selena turned around, looked me dead in the eye and glared. "I don't want to deal with your drunk ass yet again Martin" I pouted and took her phone out of her pocket. "Martin, that's seriously been enough. Give me my phone and go bother someone else god damn it." She pushed me and I fell to the ground due to my drunkenness. "Why do you always have to be such a bitch!"

The ride home was silent. Selena wanted nothing to do with me. She wouldn't even stay over, so I'd be going home to be by myself in this drunken state. But I guess I'd deserved it after treating her the way I had.

When we pulled up to the apartment I went to kiss her, buy she pushed away, telling me tonight wasn't the night. I tried to apologize for the way things had gone, but she told me that she wanted to go to bed already. Slamming the door, I stumbled the rest of the way to my front door, slipping in some snow and falling on the ground to smash my face off the front step.

Laying in my bed alone at night is when it all really starts to hit me. I'll scroll past a picture of her, or see something she would love, and it hurts me faster then a bullet. I broke the heart of someone who loved me, I destroyed a girl who loved me, and why?

Laying in my bed is when I start to think of her warm body pressed up against mine while we sleep. Its when I start to think about her laugh, and the way she crinkles her nose when shed angry. This is the time I can cry over losing her. This is when I can remember I loved her and not be afraid of someone caring. This is her time.